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Fic- Darts, part 2
Title: Darts, part 2
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica, Erica/Cristina (professional)
Rating: R/M for language
Word Count: 3,126
Disclaimer: All characters belong to ABC and Shondaland.
A/N: Thanks for your patience while I worked on getting this fic done. A special thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
darandkerry for the wonderful beta and suggestions, and Mrs CB for her seal of approval.
Darts, part 1
“They’re playing the game, but they’re not talking,” Callie sighed as she watched Erica and Cristina trying to avoid each other at the toe-line. Erica was winning, barely, and Cristina was fidgeting nervously, eyes wandering about the bar until she caught Meredith’s attention and shrugged her shoulders in a “What do I do now” gesture.
“They’re definitely not talking,” Meredith agreed.
“I think it’s time to change the rules,” Callie said with a smile as she lined up the shot glasses and turned toward the dartboard. “Hey you two Cardio Bitches! Get your asses over here.” She grabbed the tequila bottle and started pouring.
Cristina looked at Erica who looked at her in return, before shrugging and putting her darts down as she turned toward her girlfriend. Cristina couldn’t resist smirking. “Whipped,” she muttered as she walked past Hahn to the table.
“Do not try me Yang. I will kick your ass, I don’t care what Webber says.”
“Whatever.”
Callie set the empty tequila bottle down and pointed to the two rows of shots lined up on the table. “I know from personal experience that you both get a little, uhm, talkative, when you have a few drinks in you. So drink up…and start talking.”
“And if you’re having trouble getting started, I’m sure Callie and I could offer a topic or two-“
“Grey, why exactly are you here?” Erica asked, unable to hide the irritation in her voice as she took the shot Meredith handed her.
“Hey, you brought your lesb-,” Cristina started.
“Cristina! Bisexual!” Meredith hissed.
“Hey, you brought your bisexual girlfriend for support, so I brought my person.”
“Your person?” Erica asked.
Meredith sighed and simply said, “Don’t ask, Dr. Hahn.”
Callie put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Okay ladies, drink up and let the healing begin.”
“Oh, tell me you are not channeling Sydney Heron,” Cristina groaned as she reached for a glass. “Because if you try to heal me with a hug, Torres, I may have to kill you.”
“Now Yang,” Erica responded, “I’ve worked with Dr. Heron on several occasions, and I have found her to be an excellent physician; extremely skilled and very thorough - abit over-affectionate for my taste, but a highly competent surgeon nonetheless.”
“And what exactly do you think makes for a competent surgeon, Dr, Hahn?” Meredith asked, ignoring Callie’s glare as she stole a shot from the table.
“Well, talent for starters. Some people have a God-given gift for surgery. Others work very hard to achieve the recognition of their peers. And then there are those who think it should be handed to them because they sleep with their bosses.” The stony glare on Erica’s face as she turned toward Cristina left no doubt as to whom she had directed her last comment.
Callie looked at Meredith and gave her a wary smile. “C’mon Grey, we need to get some more booze,” she said as she pulled the protesting resident away from the table. Yang and Erica needed to work this out, and the last thing Callie wanted to do was to say, or even worse, have Grey say anything that might jeopardize that goal. So drinks from a safe distance it was.
Cristina sat completely still for a moment as she once again took in Hahn’s vitriol regarding her personal life. She reached for a shot and handed it to Hahn, and then took one for herself. She raised the glass in a small salute then slammed it back, before speaking. “I believe we have a game to finish, Dr. Hahn.”
Erica nodded her head slowly and rose from her chair. “After you, Dr. Yang.”
Both women walked back to the lane and pulled the darts from the backboard. Cristina took her place at the toe-line, squinting slightly as she aimed and released three darts in quick succession. “I know that you believe I’ve used my mentors to further my career, but the truth is I’ll use anyone, and I’m not going to apologize for that. If I could figure out a way to use you, I would.”
“Of that I have no doubt, Yang,” Erica replied as she took her turn to throw. “Do you remember when I was here last year for the O’Malley surgery?” Erica asked as she slowly released each dart and watched them sink into the cork.
“Yes, I do. It was the first time you allowed me into your OR. I was in awe.”
“When I went back to Seattle Presbyterian, I told all of my colleagues about this wonderfully gifted cardio intern who’d assisted me. How she was so much further advanced than her peers, in both skill and temperament, and how jealous I was that Preston Burke was gonna get the credit for mentoring her. Do you want to guess how long it took for me to find out you were sleeping with the bastard?”
“Dr. Hahn-“
“And THEN I found out that Preston had a problem with his hand. A little shaky, wasn’t that the gist of it? But he soldiered through it with his darling little intern girlfriend holding his hand during surgery, which allowed him to keep his precious reputation in check, all the while serving her own professional agenda.”
”Okay look, I turned down Marlowe’s marriage proposals – all three of them. I freely admit I loved his influence more than I loved him. But Burke was a different story. I loved Burke-“
“Bullshit! You loved that he WAS Burke, Yang.”
Cristina nodded in agreement. “At first, I was drawn to him because he was THE Preston Burke. Then I got to know him as Burke, the man, and that’s who I fell in love with.”
“And you loved him so much that you covered for him when he couldn’t hold a scalpel, right? So tell me, did you love him enough to cut Denny Duquette’s LVAD wire and steal my patient’s heart?” Erica shook her head and sneered when she saw the shocked look on Cristina’s face. “What, did you think I wouldn’t find out about that?”
“Dr. Hahn, is that what this has been about? Denny Duquette? Because I assure you, I’ve never cut any patient’s LVAD wire.”
Erica studied Cristina harshly, before walking up to the board and pulling out her darts. “Strangely enough, Yang, I believe you.” She grabbed another shot and handed it to Cristina, before downing her own.
“Okay, then what exactly is your problem? What do you want from me?”
“First, I want you to get your head out of my ass and be the professional you claim to be, not some freaky cardio stalker.”
“Stalker? I am not a stalker; I simply try to make sure that you’re completely up to date on your patients and that you have everything you need to get through the day’s caseload.”
“You’re a creepy little suck up, Yang,” Erica drawled as she lined up her next throw. “A creepy little suck up who would be better off learning how to save lives rather than constantly trying to get on my good side - a futile act, I might add.”
“And how am I supposed to do that when I have to jump through hoops to get into your OR, only to have you kick me out?”
“Burke made you jump through hoops, what made you think I wouldn’t - the fact that I’m not fucking you?”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Yang. It always comes back to Preston Fucking Burke. Excuse me, THE Preston Fucking Burke. God, I am so tired of dealing with that pompous ass. I’ve been stuck in his shadow for years and every time I think I may finally surpass him, he finds another way to keep me in my place. He breaks you, leaves town, is hailed throughout the world for his mad surgical skills, and instead of spending my valuable time in the OR or doing research, so that I can win awards, I’m stuck trying to fix you.”
“Fix what?”
“Fix you, Yang. You’re just the most recent mess he’s left behind in a lifetime of hit and runs. He uses people to his advantage and when he gets what he needs from them, he takes off, consequences be damned. And really, Yang, I’m surprised a girl as smart as you fell for his act. Tell me, just how much did you try to change to become the woman that Preston Burke wanted you to become?”
“You know what, Dr. Hahn? This…this conversation is bullshit.”
“No judgment here Yang, just answer the question. Did he try to mold you into his ideal of the perfect girlfriend?”
“He made some sugges-“
“And when you conformed to his suggestions, did he reward you by allowing you to participate in his surgeries? Did he lock you out when you went against his wishes?”
Cristina looked at her hands and remained silent. Erica had her answer.
“And what about that tremor in his hand that you helped cover up? Wait, let me guess, he blamed you when he was found out. Does that sound about right?”
“Okay, your Burke hate? I get that. I understand that. But what does that have to do with you not teaching me?”
“You don’t want me to teach you, Yang, you want me to pat you on the head and tell you how wonderfully you’ve mastered everything Burke taught you, and I can’t do that. I can’t validate the fact that you climbed the cardio ladder on your back.”
“That wasn’t the way it happened.”
“But that’s how people will always see you, Yang. When I was a resident, I was the only woman in the program. I worked hard, hell I busted my ass to get where I am today - heading up one of the best cardio programs in the world. I sacrificed relationships, friendships, even my own family to reach this goal. And I reached it without compromising myself or my reputation. The appearance of a woman such as yourself, whoring herself out for a professional edge over her peers, casts a dark shadow of doubt on the rest of us who’ve worked hard to get where we are. It pretty much negates everything I gave up, and that really pisses me off.”
“I...”
“And the truth, Yang? The truth is you are a good surgeon, but because of your inability to keep your personal life from bleeding into your professional relationship, you’ve come close to destroying one of the most important commodities a physician can have.”
“Dr. Hahn?”
“Your reputation. You don’t know how to balance the personal and the professional worlds without compromising your reputation, and that may very well keep you from becoming a great surgeon.”
“No, right now what’s keeping me from becoming a great surgeon is you. You go on and on about how horrible Burke is and how badly he ‘broke’ me. Please explain to me how that’s any different from the way you’ve treated me.”
Erica paused for a moment and looked at Cristina. “Point taken, Yang. I admit that at times, I’ve treated you unprofessionally, and for that, I apologize. I’ve allowed my opinions of you as a person and your association with Burke to cloud my judgment of you as a surgeon and that is unacceptable. I think we both have some growing to do here. However, in my defense, my actions did have a noble purpose.”
“Noble purpose? What the hell was that?”
“I had to knock the Burke out of you - for both our sakes. Otherwise, neither one of us could move on.”
“Consider me 'Burke-free'. Now how do you fix me? How do I make it into your OR and succeed in this field with my reputation in check?”
“Are you willing to shut up and learn something now? Right this very minute?”
“Absolutely, Dr. Hahn, teach away.”
Erica looked at the dart she held in her hand and turned toward Cristina. “Okay, I guess you could say that surgery is kinda of like darts, insomuch as it’s a game of touch, not force.”
“Unless it’s ortho…”
Erica could barely hide the smile forming at the corner of her mouth as she nodded in agreement. “Unless it’s ortho, and stop interrupting. In a game of darts, all the competition needs is for you to make one miscalculated throw, and you suddenly go from great to good, or even mediocre. A lot of people don’t realize this, but your posture is the most important aspect of the game.” She took aim at the board and threw with ease. “Your posture should be firm and unshakeable, no twisting or leaning, just like your professional reputation. Tell me, Yang, what happens if you lean too far forward while you’re throwing a dart?”
“Um, let’s see, you become less balanced, and I’d think you would create an unwanted strain on your body. Your throw would then fall short of your aim.”
“Very good. Now what happens when you lean too far forward in building your professional reputation?”
“I’m not sure I understand...”
“If you lean in a manner that might cause your reputation to become suspect, you throw your career and everything you have worked for off balance. And if you are a woman in this field, you not only make it harder to gain respect for yourself, but you place an unnecessary burden on all female surgeons. We’re expected to do it all: home, family, career. But we can’t have any of them if we can’t attain the proper balance.”
“I’m still not sure I understand.”
“Show me how you throw a dart.”
“What?”
“Just do it.” Erica studied Yang’s form. “Okay, see how you have one foot forward, and you put the bulk of your weight on that leg? That leg represents your career. Now, stay in that position and try to lift your back leg.”
Yang lifted her back leg and promptly fell to the ground. Callie and Meredith, thinking that Erica had finally lost it and decked Cristina, rushed back to their table, only to find Hahn pulling Yang up from the floor and talking to her.
“See what happened there? You fell on your ass. That back leg? That leg holds just enough of your weight to keep your posture steady and strong. That leg is your friends and family. They’ll help you keep yourself in check, if you let them. And you have to let them, Yang. You need to balance both your professional and personal lives in order to keep your reputation-“
“Firm and unshakeable. I believe I’m starting to understand, Dr. Hahn.
“Good, because I just kicked your ass with that last throw, and this game is officially over. Hope you get enough sleep on that couch of yours, Yang, because I expect you on my service first thing Monday morning.”
“But you won the game, you don’t need-“
“What I need is to show you that I am a good teacher just as much as you need to show me that you are a good surgeon. Preston failed you, but I won't. Now, do you want to make a fresh start with me or not, ‘cause O’Malley-”
“Fresh start? I’ll take it.”
“If you want me to mentor you, then we’re going to start over from the beginning, and I’m going to re-teach you everything you think you already know. Agreed?”
“Everything?”
“Look Yang, I realize, and not without a bit of professional jealousy I might add, that one day, when I’m old and gray and too feeble to hold a scalpel, you may possibly become a leader in the field of cardiothoracic surgery. When you start publishing and winning every surgical award under the sun, and when people from all over the world start seeking you out, I want you to be able to say that you learned everything you know from the best.”
“And would I be correct in assuming that you are the best, Dr. Hahn?”
“You get an A for your first lesson, Yang.”
“I do have a first name, you know.”
“Ah,” Erica winced, “I’ve found the use of first names breeds unwanted familiarity.”
“You used to call Burke by his first name all the time.”
“Did I mention that familiarity breeds contempt?”
“Understood. Dr. Hahn, may I ask you a personal question?”
“If it’s about me and Dr. Torres-“
“No, it’s about Burke. When you were here for O’Malley’s surgery, you complimented Burke’s skills as a surgeon, yet you always trash him as Burke, the person. Why do you hate him so much?”
“Burke changed you to fit his needs, and then he abandoned you, both personally and professionally. In effect, he broke you, is that correct?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Did you really think you were the first?” she asked quietly, before walking back to the table, leaving Cristina in a state of shock.
“Did you two get things worked out?” Callie asked, reaching for Erica’s hand as they walked out the door.
“We made a start. I think things will be easier now. And I won, so you get the bedroom, and I don’t think I’ll be hearing Yang talk about Burke any more. How about you? Did you and Grey have fun talking about McDreamy and their McDream house?”
“Actually, she talked about you and me. She wanted to know how come I wasted so much time getting together with you. Apparently, everyone could tell that even though I was sleeping with Sloan, I was actually dating you.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously!” They giggled and leaned into each other as they walked toward Callie’s car. They’d almost reached their destination when Erica heard a shout from behind.
“Dr. Hahn!”
“Be there in a minute," Erica whispered as she untangled her fingers from Callie’s and turned toward the voice. “What is it, Dr. Yang?”
“I just wanted to say thank you for explaining things. I hope that our professional relationship will benefit from our conversation tonight, and that should any personal issues arise, we will find ourselves able to deal with them appropriately.”
“You can expect me to be your teacher, Yang, but don’t expect me to be your friend. You have your little play group, and I have real adults to hang out with. Callie seems to consider you a friend, and I came here tonight as much for her benefit as for yours or mine. So no more using her to get into my OR, understood?”
“Understood. And since you brought up friends, I’d like to say I’m really happy for you and Torres. You compliment each other well.”
“Thank you, Dr. Yang.”
“But if you hurt her, I’ll rip out your heart myself.”
“I would expect nothing less, Yang. Good night.”
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica, Erica/Cristina (professional)
Rating: R/M for language
Word Count: 3,126
Disclaimer: All characters belong to ABC and Shondaland.
A/N: Thanks for your patience while I worked on getting this fic done. A special thanks to
darandkerry for the wonderful beta and suggestions, and Mrs CB for her seal of approval.Darts, part 1
“They’re playing the game, but they’re not talking,” Callie sighed as she watched Erica and Cristina trying to avoid each other at the toe-line. Erica was winning, barely, and Cristina was fidgeting nervously, eyes wandering about the bar until she caught Meredith’s attention and shrugged her shoulders in a “What do I do now” gesture.
“They’re definitely not talking,” Meredith agreed.
“I think it’s time to change the rules,” Callie said with a smile as she lined up the shot glasses and turned toward the dartboard. “Hey you two Cardio Bitches! Get your asses over here.” She grabbed the tequila bottle and started pouring.
Cristina looked at Erica who looked at her in return, before shrugging and putting her darts down as she turned toward her girlfriend. Cristina couldn’t resist smirking. “Whipped,” she muttered as she walked past Hahn to the table.
“Do not try me Yang. I will kick your ass, I don’t care what Webber says.”
“Whatever.”
Callie set the empty tequila bottle down and pointed to the two rows of shots lined up on the table. “I know from personal experience that you both get a little, uhm, talkative, when you have a few drinks in you. So drink up…and start talking.”
“And if you’re having trouble getting started, I’m sure Callie and I could offer a topic or two-“
“Grey, why exactly are you here?” Erica asked, unable to hide the irritation in her voice as she took the shot Meredith handed her.
“Hey, you brought your lesb-,” Cristina started.
“Cristina! Bisexual!” Meredith hissed.
“Hey, you brought your bisexual girlfriend for support, so I brought my person.”
“Your person?” Erica asked.
Meredith sighed and simply said, “Don’t ask, Dr. Hahn.”
Callie put her hands on her hips and smiled. “Okay ladies, drink up and let the healing begin.”
“Oh, tell me you are not channeling Sydney Heron,” Cristina groaned as she reached for a glass. “Because if you try to heal me with a hug, Torres, I may have to kill you.”
“Now Yang,” Erica responded, “I’ve worked with Dr. Heron on several occasions, and I have found her to be an excellent physician; extremely skilled and very thorough - abit over-affectionate for my taste, but a highly competent surgeon nonetheless.”
“And what exactly do you think makes for a competent surgeon, Dr, Hahn?” Meredith asked, ignoring Callie’s glare as she stole a shot from the table.
“Well, talent for starters. Some people have a God-given gift for surgery. Others work very hard to achieve the recognition of their peers. And then there are those who think it should be handed to them because they sleep with their bosses.” The stony glare on Erica’s face as she turned toward Cristina left no doubt as to whom she had directed her last comment.
Callie looked at Meredith and gave her a wary smile. “C’mon Grey, we need to get some more booze,” she said as she pulled the protesting resident away from the table. Yang and Erica needed to work this out, and the last thing Callie wanted to do was to say, or even worse, have Grey say anything that might jeopardize that goal. So drinks from a safe distance it was.
Cristina sat completely still for a moment as she once again took in Hahn’s vitriol regarding her personal life. She reached for a shot and handed it to Hahn, and then took one for herself. She raised the glass in a small salute then slammed it back, before speaking. “I believe we have a game to finish, Dr. Hahn.”
Erica nodded her head slowly and rose from her chair. “After you, Dr. Yang.”
Both women walked back to the lane and pulled the darts from the backboard. Cristina took her place at the toe-line, squinting slightly as she aimed and released three darts in quick succession. “I know that you believe I’ve used my mentors to further my career, but the truth is I’ll use anyone, and I’m not going to apologize for that. If I could figure out a way to use you, I would.”
“Of that I have no doubt, Yang,” Erica replied as she took her turn to throw. “Do you remember when I was here last year for the O’Malley surgery?” Erica asked as she slowly released each dart and watched them sink into the cork.
“Yes, I do. It was the first time you allowed me into your OR. I was in awe.”
“When I went back to Seattle Presbyterian, I told all of my colleagues about this wonderfully gifted cardio intern who’d assisted me. How she was so much further advanced than her peers, in both skill and temperament, and how jealous I was that Preston Burke was gonna get the credit for mentoring her. Do you want to guess how long it took for me to find out you were sleeping with the bastard?”
“Dr. Hahn-“
“And THEN I found out that Preston had a problem with his hand. A little shaky, wasn’t that the gist of it? But he soldiered through it with his darling little intern girlfriend holding his hand during surgery, which allowed him to keep his precious reputation in check, all the while serving her own professional agenda.”
”Okay look, I turned down Marlowe’s marriage proposals – all three of them. I freely admit I loved his influence more than I loved him. But Burke was a different story. I loved Burke-“
“Bullshit! You loved that he WAS Burke, Yang.”
Cristina nodded in agreement. “At first, I was drawn to him because he was THE Preston Burke. Then I got to know him as Burke, the man, and that’s who I fell in love with.”
“And you loved him so much that you covered for him when he couldn’t hold a scalpel, right? So tell me, did you love him enough to cut Denny Duquette’s LVAD wire and steal my patient’s heart?” Erica shook her head and sneered when she saw the shocked look on Cristina’s face. “What, did you think I wouldn’t find out about that?”
“Dr. Hahn, is that what this has been about? Denny Duquette? Because I assure you, I’ve never cut any patient’s LVAD wire.”
Erica studied Cristina harshly, before walking up to the board and pulling out her darts. “Strangely enough, Yang, I believe you.” She grabbed another shot and handed it to Cristina, before downing her own.
“Okay, then what exactly is your problem? What do you want from me?”
“First, I want you to get your head out of my ass and be the professional you claim to be, not some freaky cardio stalker.”
“Stalker? I am not a stalker; I simply try to make sure that you’re completely up to date on your patients and that you have everything you need to get through the day’s caseload.”
“You’re a creepy little suck up, Yang,” Erica drawled as she lined up her next throw. “A creepy little suck up who would be better off learning how to save lives rather than constantly trying to get on my good side - a futile act, I might add.”
“And how am I supposed to do that when I have to jump through hoops to get into your OR, only to have you kick me out?”
“Burke made you jump through hoops, what made you think I wouldn’t - the fact that I’m not fucking you?”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Yang. It always comes back to Preston Fucking Burke. Excuse me, THE Preston Fucking Burke. God, I am so tired of dealing with that pompous ass. I’ve been stuck in his shadow for years and every time I think I may finally surpass him, he finds another way to keep me in my place. He breaks you, leaves town, is hailed throughout the world for his mad surgical skills, and instead of spending my valuable time in the OR or doing research, so that I can win awards, I’m stuck trying to fix you.”
“Fix what?”
“Fix you, Yang. You’re just the most recent mess he’s left behind in a lifetime of hit and runs. He uses people to his advantage and when he gets what he needs from them, he takes off, consequences be damned. And really, Yang, I’m surprised a girl as smart as you fell for his act. Tell me, just how much did you try to change to become the woman that Preston Burke wanted you to become?”
“You know what, Dr. Hahn? This…this conversation is bullshit.”
“No judgment here Yang, just answer the question. Did he try to mold you into his ideal of the perfect girlfriend?”
“He made some sugges-“
“And when you conformed to his suggestions, did he reward you by allowing you to participate in his surgeries? Did he lock you out when you went against his wishes?”
Cristina looked at her hands and remained silent. Erica had her answer.
“And what about that tremor in his hand that you helped cover up? Wait, let me guess, he blamed you when he was found out. Does that sound about right?”
“Okay, your Burke hate? I get that. I understand that. But what does that have to do with you not teaching me?”
“You don’t want me to teach you, Yang, you want me to pat you on the head and tell you how wonderfully you’ve mastered everything Burke taught you, and I can’t do that. I can’t validate the fact that you climbed the cardio ladder on your back.”
“That wasn’t the way it happened.”
“But that’s how people will always see you, Yang. When I was a resident, I was the only woman in the program. I worked hard, hell I busted my ass to get where I am today - heading up one of the best cardio programs in the world. I sacrificed relationships, friendships, even my own family to reach this goal. And I reached it without compromising myself or my reputation. The appearance of a woman such as yourself, whoring herself out for a professional edge over her peers, casts a dark shadow of doubt on the rest of us who’ve worked hard to get where we are. It pretty much negates everything I gave up, and that really pisses me off.”
“I...”
“And the truth, Yang? The truth is you are a good surgeon, but because of your inability to keep your personal life from bleeding into your professional relationship, you’ve come close to destroying one of the most important commodities a physician can have.”
“Dr. Hahn?”
“Your reputation. You don’t know how to balance the personal and the professional worlds without compromising your reputation, and that may very well keep you from becoming a great surgeon.”
“No, right now what’s keeping me from becoming a great surgeon is you. You go on and on about how horrible Burke is and how badly he ‘broke’ me. Please explain to me how that’s any different from the way you’ve treated me.”
Erica paused for a moment and looked at Cristina. “Point taken, Yang. I admit that at times, I’ve treated you unprofessionally, and for that, I apologize. I’ve allowed my opinions of you as a person and your association with Burke to cloud my judgment of you as a surgeon and that is unacceptable. I think we both have some growing to do here. However, in my defense, my actions did have a noble purpose.”
“Noble purpose? What the hell was that?”
“I had to knock the Burke out of you - for both our sakes. Otherwise, neither one of us could move on.”
“Consider me 'Burke-free'. Now how do you fix me? How do I make it into your OR and succeed in this field with my reputation in check?”
“Are you willing to shut up and learn something now? Right this very minute?”
“Absolutely, Dr. Hahn, teach away.”
Erica looked at the dart she held in her hand and turned toward Cristina. “Okay, I guess you could say that surgery is kinda of like darts, insomuch as it’s a game of touch, not force.”
“Unless it’s ortho…”
Erica could barely hide the smile forming at the corner of her mouth as she nodded in agreement. “Unless it’s ortho, and stop interrupting. In a game of darts, all the competition needs is for you to make one miscalculated throw, and you suddenly go from great to good, or even mediocre. A lot of people don’t realize this, but your posture is the most important aspect of the game.” She took aim at the board and threw with ease. “Your posture should be firm and unshakeable, no twisting or leaning, just like your professional reputation. Tell me, Yang, what happens if you lean too far forward while you’re throwing a dart?”
“Um, let’s see, you become less balanced, and I’d think you would create an unwanted strain on your body. Your throw would then fall short of your aim.”
“Very good. Now what happens when you lean too far forward in building your professional reputation?”
“I’m not sure I understand...”
“If you lean in a manner that might cause your reputation to become suspect, you throw your career and everything you have worked for off balance. And if you are a woman in this field, you not only make it harder to gain respect for yourself, but you place an unnecessary burden on all female surgeons. We’re expected to do it all: home, family, career. But we can’t have any of them if we can’t attain the proper balance.”
“I’m still not sure I understand.”
“Show me how you throw a dart.”
“What?”
“Just do it.” Erica studied Yang’s form. “Okay, see how you have one foot forward, and you put the bulk of your weight on that leg? That leg represents your career. Now, stay in that position and try to lift your back leg.”
Yang lifted her back leg and promptly fell to the ground. Callie and Meredith, thinking that Erica had finally lost it and decked Cristina, rushed back to their table, only to find Hahn pulling Yang up from the floor and talking to her.
“See what happened there? You fell on your ass. That back leg? That leg holds just enough of your weight to keep your posture steady and strong. That leg is your friends and family. They’ll help you keep yourself in check, if you let them. And you have to let them, Yang. You need to balance both your professional and personal lives in order to keep your reputation-“
“Firm and unshakeable. I believe I’m starting to understand, Dr. Hahn.
“Good, because I just kicked your ass with that last throw, and this game is officially over. Hope you get enough sleep on that couch of yours, Yang, because I expect you on my service first thing Monday morning.”
“But you won the game, you don’t need-“
“What I need is to show you that I am a good teacher just as much as you need to show me that you are a good surgeon. Preston failed you, but I won't. Now, do you want to make a fresh start with me or not, ‘cause O’Malley-”
“Fresh start? I’ll take it.”
“If you want me to mentor you, then we’re going to start over from the beginning, and I’m going to re-teach you everything you think you already know. Agreed?”
“Everything?”
“Look Yang, I realize, and not without a bit of professional jealousy I might add, that one day, when I’m old and gray and too feeble to hold a scalpel, you may possibly become a leader in the field of cardiothoracic surgery. When you start publishing and winning every surgical award under the sun, and when people from all over the world start seeking you out, I want you to be able to say that you learned everything you know from the best.”
“And would I be correct in assuming that you are the best, Dr. Hahn?”
“You get an A for your first lesson, Yang.”
“I do have a first name, you know.”
“Ah,” Erica winced, “I’ve found the use of first names breeds unwanted familiarity.”
“You used to call Burke by his first name all the time.”
“Did I mention that familiarity breeds contempt?”
“Understood. Dr. Hahn, may I ask you a personal question?”
“If it’s about me and Dr. Torres-“
“No, it’s about Burke. When you were here for O’Malley’s surgery, you complimented Burke’s skills as a surgeon, yet you always trash him as Burke, the person. Why do you hate him so much?”
“Burke changed you to fit his needs, and then he abandoned you, both personally and professionally. In effect, he broke you, is that correct?”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Did you really think you were the first?” she asked quietly, before walking back to the table, leaving Cristina in a state of shock.
“Did you two get things worked out?” Callie asked, reaching for Erica’s hand as they walked out the door.
“We made a start. I think things will be easier now. And I won, so you get the bedroom, and I don’t think I’ll be hearing Yang talk about Burke any more. How about you? Did you and Grey have fun talking about McDreamy and their McDream house?”
“Actually, she talked about you and me. She wanted to know how come I wasted so much time getting together with you. Apparently, everyone could tell that even though I was sleeping with Sloan, I was actually dating you.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously!” They giggled and leaned into each other as they walked toward Callie’s car. They’d almost reached their destination when Erica heard a shout from behind.
“Dr. Hahn!”
“Be there in a minute," Erica whispered as she untangled her fingers from Callie’s and turned toward the voice. “What is it, Dr. Yang?”
“I just wanted to say thank you for explaining things. I hope that our professional relationship will benefit from our conversation tonight, and that should any personal issues arise, we will find ourselves able to deal with them appropriately.”
“You can expect me to be your teacher, Yang, but don’t expect me to be your friend. You have your little play group, and I have real adults to hang out with. Callie seems to consider you a friend, and I came here tonight as much for her benefit as for yours or mine. So no more using her to get into my OR, understood?”
“Understood. And since you brought up friends, I’d like to say I’m really happy for you and Torres. You compliment each other well.”
“Thank you, Dr. Yang.”
“But if you hurt her, I’ll rip out your heart myself.”
“I would expect nothing less, Yang. Good night.”