Dial O for OMG Noooooo!

[cabenson]

I just got a call from a local school saying that my son Zachary was still there, waiting for me to pick him up.

Did one of you send me a kid for Christmas and I'm just now getting it?

Comments

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

You mean you didn't get my package from "Insta-Kid"?

First - OOMPA LOOMPAS!

Second - meanwhile that poor kid is still there wondering why his parents didn't respond to the message.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Naw, I told the secretary lady that had definitely dialed the wrong number. And she agreed :)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Dammit, you've been trying to wriggle out of responsibility for our son now for YEARS. I didn't think you could get any worse than leaving him in the basement all tied up and covered in Fancy Feast, but this is a new low.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Me?! If you would put down your wine glass long enough to pick up a pen and send me a check every month like you promised, I wouldn't have to pawn the little bastard off on other people.

And since you have obviously forgotten, our son's name is Nicole.

[betsybanger.livejournal.com]

wow, they could have mistakenly called a pedophiles #... that wouldn't be pretty

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

No shit. They dialed a 6 instead of a 9. It's all about the 6 and 9.

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

See, keeping that secret family across town was bound to bite you in the ass sooner or later.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Shhhhhh!

[celluloidson.livejournal.com]

No, but I sent you a three-headed Oopma-Loompa. I see that you've gotten it. Good.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

And I thank you for it.

You know, it's like 10 degrees here with the WC. Don't ya miss it yet?

[celluloidson.livejournal.com]

YES. Today I layed out and got some sun on my deck and then took my dog to the river and splashed around. It was 75 degress and TERRIBLE. *sigh*

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Bastard!

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

Nah, not a bastard. That's too good a taunt for a 'southerner' who would flaunt his temperate clime.

bitch . . . (whimpers as her tears freeze into popsicles)

[detective-tatas.livejournal.com]

AHHHH!! oompas! i used to have nightmares about them trying to eat me.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Someone else on my flist hates them, so I made this icon just for them :)

[wingsfan.livejournal.com]

I didn't do anything.
[eyes postage receipt]
I'm innocent! Really. I was out on a shopping spree. Just ask the Bed, Bath and Beyond folks. One of the staff offered me their first born, but that was it!
Honest!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

It's okay, but next-time how about an almost legal Latina? Okay?

[wingsfan.livejournal.com]

almost legal
As your attorney, I have to advise you to shut up before I am forced to say something. Unless there's doughnuts involved. Then that's ok. :D

[armature.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's brilliant.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

It was YOU! wasn't it :)