Seventies Child

I just got a call from the surgeon's office and my post-op check has been pushed back to next Wed, the 22nd. What a pain in the ass. I had to call the disability insurance certifier (which doesn't guarantee I'll get paid for being off after the 19th), then the Hell Lab and explain that my intended return would be delayed. That's the worst thing about dealing with a neurosurgeon-you never know when they need to perform spur-of-the-moment brain surgery.

In a pleasant surprise, I was informed that I could start driving today!! With the exception of a quick trip to the MRI place, I have not driven anywhere since mid-April. Watch out Central Ohio, I'm back on the streets!

I wanna wish everyone on my f-list a SAFE and enjoyable Memorial Weekend. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!! or I'll kick your ass. Have fun!

Mrs. CB took my sweet Bruin to the vet yesterday for his annual check up and shots. When Bruin came home, Smokey, his snuggle-buddy, started growling at him. Why? Because Bruin smells like the vet and it was the ev01 vet that took his balls away. Poor Bruin. Maybe one of the other boys will give him a bath. And to think I didn't want kids ;)

My mom is coming to town for a seminar and we are going to try and meet her for dinner. I have been ordered by the wife to rest today, but damn I am bored. I guess I'll try and finish my book.

And can I just say, my back itches like crazy? omgleiktehfireof1000suns!!!11!1!1!

Have a good day.

I was allowed to ride in a car yesterday (I was so excited I felt like a puppy)so Mrs. CB took me to the store. Since this was my first outing after surgery, we went to the local dykery instead of a mega store so I wouldn't over do it.

A few people have asked me what happened with my back and what surgery was done. So, if ya really wanna know...

( CB's Back )

I came home around noon today. The surgery lasted an hour-she took a "huge chunk" of vertebra out- and I can now walk. I had a longer time in post-op because my heart rate was up and a little out of sync-probably have to add that to my maintenance list. But I lucked out and had a private room on a newly redone floor of the hospital that is dedicated to Spinal Conditions.I got to watch TBJ while I nibbled on Graham crackers and sipped on Sprite.

My mom has made me a German Chocolate cake and is now making Chicken Parmigiana. She and Mrs CB have gotten along wonderfully the past two days- I almost hate to see Mom leave tomorrow. They took me for a walk around the house and into the garden so I could see what has bloomed the last few weeks when I was stuck in bed.

Thanks for all the well wishes, thoughts and prayers. I should be back to my snarky self in a few days.

Surgery is set for 3:45 this afternoon and I have been w/o food or drink since midnight=crankypants. I will be released tomorrow late morning. Mrs. CB will let you all know how it went. I can't wait for the cool drugs leg spasms to stop. They are now up to my neck. We leave in 2 hours and Mrs. CB had to shave my legs for me...what a woman.

This is Mrs. CB, here. It is almost 7 a.m. on Saturday morning. The surgery went very well-- lasted an hour. My beloved cabenson looked happy and said she was experiencing no leg pain.
She ate some jello-cherry- and TWO packages of graham crackers with her apple juice. YUMMY!
She really wanted a cheeseburger. Today I am bringing her nastiness from Tim Hortons.

Surgery is set for Friday morning. I won't know the time until tomorrow afternoon. MamaCB is coming down after work tomorrow and will stay for most of the weekend. We think I am staying overnight, but it is possible that they could send me home within 24 hrs of surgery. I am not too nervous-I think this is because I can only focus on the pain. And I found out today that my MRI also showed a possible ovarian cyst that I will need to deal with when I am recovered enough from the back. Sonuvabitch.

Thanks for the birthday greetings. I spent the day in bed, but not in the context I would have preferred. Mrs. CB and I will celebrate in a few weeks when I am up and around again.

Happy birthday, bast2!

We found out why I was having so much trouble with my leg. It would appear that I have ruptured my disc...again. The doc put us on the fast track and it looks like I will be having surgery next Friday, May 6. I will be having the same procedure as before (laminectomy/discectomy) and my doc even gave me a cute little video/workbook to watch this week. I also got a scrip for Oxycontin...that is how bad my pain is right now. I wonder if I can get her to suck some fat out of my ass while she's in there.

After a week of trying to sit at my computer only to start having spasms, I finally got the laptop online. So now, I can lay in bed, or in my recliner, and use a notsocrappy dial up connection to reconnect with people. Only problem is that I can't get YIM to install, so unless you have AOL or MSN, I am not chatable at this time.

We have had some weird ass weather lately and that has resulted in some server issues with our cable company (internet-wise). Mrs CB has had to follow my instructions for resetting modems, routers,etc, as I shout them from the bedroom. God, I can't wait until this back thing is better. Which leads me to...

A back update. PT has not helped, in fact, I think that it has caused more inflammation. By some miracle, I was able to get in to see the neurosurgeon tomorrow. Last time, I had to wait 6 weeks. I had an MRI yesterday-agonizing for this claustrophobic gal even tho it was an "open" machine. Both of my PT's and the MRI guy mentioned that scar tissue from my previous surgery may have adhered to a nerve root. This would explain the spasms in my leg and the "phantom" pains I have. Sometimes it feels like I have a slash across the top of my foot, or that the skin on my leg is burning. I am taking some seriously strong Percocet as the Vicoden did nothing. I miss having a glass of wine in the evenings.I also miss cooking...a lot!

Wow! I never took a moment to think how difficult a handicapped person's life could be until I found myself unable to stand, let alone walk. To still be unable to take a shower by myself might be considered a hardship, but the fact that I can actually crawl into the shower is a godsend...especially to my wife.

I still cannot sit for more than a few minutes, but the PT is helping. I have been through so many PT session in the last 4 years, but none have made me cry out in pain like my current ones. And that my friends, is a good thing. Really!

Prognosis, well we'll know more after the MRI. It appears that scar tissue from my previous surgery has adhered to the nerve root and is making it almost impossible to walk, sit, stand without feeling like my leg will cramp up or my bones will break from the strain. PT is actually trying to "stretch" my nerve, if you can imagine, and it is slowly showing some good affect. After the MRI, I'll meet with the neurosurgeon and see what we can do to avoid another operation.

I have so much to catch up on, but my time here is still limited. Thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes.

Hi everyone, this is actually stargazer1960, or Mrs. CB posting for cabenson.

My beloved CB's back is much worse and she has great difficulty sitting at the computer (also sleeping, eating, walking). She has been home trying to find a comfortable position for days and she has been suffering the slings and arrows of my cooking.
She has had to let me do things for her and I have had to do many things that she normally does. I took off work tomorrow to take her to an appointment and physical therapy
So, the QOTD is "What have you found yourself doing for the sake of love that you never expected to do?" I never expected to be her online voice. How about you?

I apologize for my lapse in posting my questions. The back difficulties have led to work difficulties and to make a long story short, I am off work for an undetermined amount of time.

Because thinking has been a struggle lately (and not just because of the pain meds ;) I am going with an old standard:

You are stranded alone on a deserted island. What three things would make your time there more tolerable?

Spring is here dammit! And where am I? Stuck inside tending my broken ass. My PT evaluation on Friday was kinda good. It looks like the disc slipped, pinged the nerve and has started to go back into position. I have not lost any strength in my legs which was a huge problem 2 years ago...I lost 50% strength in my left leg. They seem confident that I can get the disc back in place and tackle the neverending leg spasms that feel like someone is squeezing the marrow out of my shin bone with about 8 weeks of PT. Bad thing is that they restricted me over the weekend to keep the inflammation from getting worse. Not only did that mean no computer time, but I had to let Mrs. CB cook.Grilled cheese, tacos, hot dogs and Dairy Queen. The only good thing about having a pinched nerve and the subsequent muscle spasms is that the left cheek of my ass is rock hard. That's right folks, I am a half-assed hard ass.

And that leads me to the question of the day:

Would you rather be a half-assed hard ass or a hard-assed half ass?

Can I just say how much I love this weather? Beautiful skies, mid-70's, and with just the slightest bit of chill in the breeze. Am soooo ready to start working outside on the garden and landscape...just one small problem. My back wants to stay in and relax.

The disc seems to have slipped back into place and I am now dealing with the inflamed nerve that was pinched. I wish I could find the words to describe the pain results from these muscle spasms. I can walk about 15 steps before they grab hold. Think about the last time you has a charley-horse in your calf...then multiply it by 1000. Okay, now you are getting close.The spasms have calmed down quite a bit, but not enough to allow me to do what I want to do- we had to cancel 2 social engagements this weekend and I am gonna adhere to my doc's orders that I stay off my feet as much as possible. To those I am cancelling on, again, I apologize.

I wish I could use this downtime to write, but I can't seem to concentrate on anything. Mrs. CB has been writing, and I am glad at least one of us has a smut muse. I am sleeping like a cat...as much as possible. So if you don't see me around, that's probably the reason. Work, muscle relaxers, sleep, hey to the wife, more pills, cats, sleep....life isn't so bad after all.

Today was my first day back to work after what was supposed to be a nice Spring Break but turned into a nice Sprung Back.

First, I find out that the promotion position I was vying for had been filled...by our supervisor. She decided to step down and they created the position for her. It would have been nice if they would have told me and the others who interviewed that the position was actually already filled. Asshats! So now we have a supervisor position open. I also found out that the 2nd shift super position that took forever to fill last year is indeed open again. I wonder if the guy they hired quit or got fired...hmmm.

Next fun thing, I got popped for a random drug screen. Bwahahahahaha. And I have been on (prescribed) Vicoden for a week. This is the second time I have returned to work after being off for an illness or surgery, and had to piss in a cup while under the influence of Teh Opiates. But as long as I have a legal prescription...they can't do anything.

And this brings up my next point. Why do they make the pee cups for drugscreens so small that only a needledick can comfortably fill the thing? It's not like I could bend over to see where the hell I was hitting. Yo! Bad back=no bending. At least the lights didn't go out this time and I didn't have a cast on my arm.

Finally, Basketball Fans- did you see those women's games last night? Go MSU!!!! cause the coach is Teh Prettay. And if the Illinois men win tonight, I win $30.00. And if I win...that's right. Lap dances for Teh Harem. Go Illini, Go Spartans!!!!!

I had a miserable day yesterday. Anyone that has ever pinched a spinal nerve will understand how the pain often seems to emanate from the marrow of your bones. The cold, rainy weather did not help.

What helped? Trying to guide my better half through the inner workings of Live Journal...from posting, to friending, to uploading her new icon of Amy Ray's crotch (help me?!). Then, I watched Battlestar Galactica. Anyone else watch this? I am really enjoying it.

So I limp of to bed last night and it was pouring down rain. Thundering, flashes of lightning,wind blowing people down, all the good stuff. I wake up this morning to find it is fucking SNOWING!!! Belated April Fool's much?

I wanna go shopping today to get a lava lamp like heathers. But Mrs. CB just came back from errands and said the roads are Teh Shit. Looks like I am stuck here on Pope Watch.

I guess this pain medication is working. I was a lot more mobile today and even ventured outside while Mrs CB was trying to remove some forsythia bushes from the garden.

( Garden Talk )

Vicoden is a strange painkiller. While it helps my manage the discomfort, I was hit with nightmare after nightmare last night. The kind where you have to force yourself awake just to make them stop. And I tried to keep myself from going back to sleep. I almost went into the spare room and slept with Mrs CB (who was letting me have the bed to myself so I wouldn't kick her with my spasms could stretch out) because I was THAT freaked out. Maybe aqua_blurr can lend her wank to it.

( An Example )

Well, as it always seems to happen, I was making some progress and BAM! I got nailed again. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I was trying to dance to the end credits if The Incredibles. I was actually stretching like I am supposed to and when I stood up...crick.

So, Bad News...it really fucking hurts. And I am walking like I have a stick up my ass, which on this particular occasion, I do not. And I can't do anything for the rest of my time off...and I am already so bored.

Good News...the "cyst" we thought was causing the problem is not. I had Mrs. CB chauffeur me to my doc this morning and left with a killer scrip for Vicoden, which is putting my old hydrocodone to shame, and a new round of "Official" Physical Therapy. This is extra good, because it will help me shed that last 20#.

So, off to read I guess. I am reading 102 Minutes...and I am still not 100% sure I am ready to read this story yet.

It is 69 (heh heh) degrees out, beautiful blue sky and the cats are digging on the open windows. I think I'll go out on the patio and expose the neighbors to the blinding whiteness that is my skin.

First of all, thank you all for your kind thoughts (and drugs). I am up and around, still limping, but a lot more mobile than I was a few days ago. I had to take a thooper-duper muscle relaxer yesterday and I suffered the most horribly vivid nightmares. I hate that shit I love that shit. I couldn't remember enough of it to ask aqua_blurr for her analysis, so AB, just pretend, okay?

Mrs. CB went up to her family's again yesterday leaving me alone with the boys. Basketball, naps, chili, naps, watching Fallen (spooky fun!), and snippets of "Moses" were about all I accomplished in my 24 hours of blissful freedom. Bring Mrs. CB back into the picture, rinse and repeat for my activities for today. I hate that ibuprofen makes me so freaking sleepy...we're talking coma sleepy.

My OSU gals won today and we will play speshulduck's Terps on Tuesday. My March Madness brackets are pretty much screwed already...stoopid spoilers.

I got absolutely no writing done at all, but I at least have a vision of the next episode of "Harlots". Just gotta get a challenge that it will fit;)

I have received several requests on the story surrounding #8 of my Ten Meme post from yesterday.

( I'm not really that delicate )