Stuff and a cool meme

[cabenson]

Mrs. CB's ancient PC crashed this morning, so she is gonna take mine while I upgrade. Gotta sweet deal on a new system with a bigger monitor for my declining eyesight and plenty of space for my illegal activities. So I get to spend the next few days deleting pr0n cleaning my pc out and moving (with Teh Wife's help)shit around in the office.

Got another sweet deal on hotel for NYC so the trip is planned. Looks like we will be seeing Avenue Q -my boss is bringing in the soundtrack tomorrow for me.

Still not 100% with the flu recovery but starting to get more energy. Had a glass of wine with dinner tonight-it's been almost 3 weeks. I know! Might grab a bottle or two for this weekend then Mrs. CB and I hit the low-carb route again as I prepare to enter the next phase of my rehab.

And last but not least:
Thieved from kelbelle

I triple-dog dare ya!

Leave a list of fictional characters in your journal that you would love to get a message from. Your f- and f-of-list's mission, should they choose to accept it, is to write you an in-character "letter" from a character on that list. Then they post their own list in their journal and the process continues!



1. Helen Stewart
2. Alex Cabot
3. Xena
4. Maureen Johnson (RENT)
5. Dana Scully
6. Olivia Benson
7. Nikki Wade
8. Laura Roslin (BSG)
9. Elizabeth Weir (SG:A)
10. Ellen Ripley (Aliens)
11. Marge Gunderson (Fargo)
12. Neely O'Hara
13. Nell
14. Yvonne Atkins (BG)
15. Elphaba (Wicked)
16. Jay and Silent Bob
17. James Bond
18. Eric Cartman
19. Capt. Kathryn Janeway
20. Olivia "Mama" Walton (The Waltons)

Comments

[baby-sis.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson,

I am the C.L.I.T. Commander! I am the master of the C.L.I.T.!

Remember this fucking face.

Oh, yeah, Lunchbox says "Hi."

Love,
Jay



CB --

...

-- Bob

[kelbelle.livejournal.com]

Dear CB,

Hi, baby! Did you get my flier for my new protest? You'd better be there or we're no longer friends. I mean, I can't think of a better way to raise awareness for homeless clothing donation than to protest naked!

See you there! KISSES!

Maureen!

[bast2.livejournal.com]

Dear C. B.

You know I'm a drunk and a has-been--and I'm no damn good for you. So fuck off, dyke.

Sincerly,
Neely O'Hara

[aivilo-18.livejournal.com]

Dear CB,

You're so much hotter than May.

Love,

Nell.

[aivilo-18.livejournal.com]

P.S. And you're also not my sister! Score!

[mikee-pm.livejournal.com]

yup, marouk and i are going to see avenue q when we'll be in new york next month. i don't like musicals, to say the least. and this one has puppets in it.
enough said.

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

And if you don't soon select the serious ::everyone-is-searching-for-a-revolver-at-the-end-of-it:: play you want to see, we will be seeing 2 musicals...

[mikee-pm.livejournal.com]

i dare you to take me to three!

[stephbrandes.livejournal.com]

Cabenson:

Put your hands behind your back and spread em!

You have the right to remain silent (moaning and an occational OMG YES is exceptable). Everything you say and do can be used against you, (Esp. if you cry out some other bitches name instead of mine). You have the right to an attorney, (I'll call Alex, we can have a threesome). Do you understand your rights? Yes....good. Now get NAKED!

Olivia Benson.

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

You got the bigger monitor because of the built in speakers, remember? Jeesh, if you can't keep your stories straight then fibbing doesn't work.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Look you bloody cow,

I've put up with this long enough. Every sodding time I get home from the club, Helen is shitfaced and hugging an empty vodka bottle. Stop sending her crates of Stoli, all right? She's not leaving me for you--you're not her flavor, darling. All I have to do is say, "Do you really want to live in Ohio?" and she recoils in horror. Bloody marvelous, I tell you.

Yvonne may be running that big mafia in the sky, but Lauren Atkins is a friend...we swap leather jackets from time to time, it's all quite innocent, I assure you...and me? I'm still pretty handy with a broken bottle.

All right then?

Nikki

p.s. Dockley's getting out soon. Gave her your address--she needs a place to stay.

[aqua-blurr.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson,

In this time of uncertainty and war, I greatly appreciate your enthusiastic perversions support and loyalty. I also value your opinions and am pleased when you take the time to let me know how you feel.

However, I must reassert my position: I am not having sex a relationship with Starbuck without the Arrow. It simply isn't hot enough possible without the damned Arrow at this time. I want to be responsive to my kinks constituency's kinks needs, but cannot condone much less participate in a three-way without the third party fraternization with military personnel.

I hope you give me back my ARROW, asshole, you've had it long enough! understand.

Sincerely,
President Laura Roslin

[emd4v15.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson,

It has been brought to my attention that the "private parties" you keep engaging in with holographic Olivia Bensons and Alex Cabots are draining the ship's resources. Seven of Nine, Commmander Chakotay and Tuvok have all lodged official complaints against you as they have not been able to access the holodeck for several weeks now.

I have also been notified that B'Ellana Torres finds the satisfied grin you're constantly wearing to be particularly "disturbing", and that a lack of sleep has been affecting your work.

Please reduce the amount of time you are spending on the holodeck so that I am not forced to suspend your priveleges indefinitely.

This is an official warning.

Captain Kathryn Janeway,
Starship Voyager.

[sparklebunny.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson,

I really don't know where things are going at the moment. Every thing with Nikki has gone to shit, as you already know. It seems you were right, prison relationships just don't work. I really appreciated our chat the other night. I'm sorry I left so soon, things were just getting a bit heavy and these feelings are all new for me, so please have patience.

Maybe we can talk about it later? Fancy a pint down the pub?

Sincerely,
Helen Stewart
Governor Grade 1

[jadoreguy.livejournal.com]

Dear cabenson,

I have to munch on a box before I can become a lesbian? WEAK!

Screw you, I'm going home,

Eric Cartman

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson-
I ‘earya’re writin’ fic about me again and I’m gonna’ tell you, I don’t like it. I’m sick to my backteeth tryin too convince’ya that I’m not interested in [other] women, not in that way.

This has been hard for me, as I think you know, because CB, I’m all tuckered out! You’ve had me on that goddamned potting shed comm rolling with Nikki and Sean and Claire and Trish and Yvonne Dominic and Thomas and Fenner-you bitch!

That’s all besides the fact that you have me downing a bottle o’ Stoli every single night! And apparently, the more I drink, the hornier I get! You’re gonna have to keep your hormones in check, CB… ‘cause, I’m telling ya, IT’s ABOUT TO FALL OFF and Wade won’t go for that—litterrralllly.

Helen Stewart
(in hiding)

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

Dear Cabenson:

Even though she left me for a hostess at the Savoy, you have my sincerest, heartfelt gratitude for teaching Pussy Galore everything she knows. I owe you a vodka martini, or three.

Very truly yours,

Bond. James Bond.

[giantessmess.livejournal.com]

Cabenson.

Let's get one thing straight -I am.

I don't give a damn what you or Novak think, and I'm not gonna explain it again.

And stay the hell away from Alex. She's in witnes protection, ok? At least for now. She doesn't need you tracking her down, calling at all hours, interrupting our sleep. Jesus -she's aggravated enough - do you have any idea how irritating a powerless, formerly hard-ass ADA is to be around?

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah - I'm straight. I'm not going to ask you or your associates again to stop spreading rumors about me. I'm done being nice.
And the next time you bother my girlfirend, will be the last time you do anything.

- Olivia Benson

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

Whatcha been doin' CB? I heard down by the lodge that you'd been laid up. Betcha a satchel of dough buried in snow that you're sick to death of the runaround. When I was pregnant, my back hurt so much I wanted to barf. I did learn a few exercises that could help. I also made an aromatherapy pillow for you while I was on maternity leave. I'm more fertile than my mormor, god rest her soul, she had nine. I've managed to pass a few eggs past my Norm so i could probably meet you next week at the Holiday Inn in Maynard, they have a great buffet. Or I could just post it to you. i really should go with Norm to his stamp convention in Decatur. I have to remember to pack the diaphragm.

I'm investigating a cold case that you would find interesting. Some guy, Marty, ordered a hit on his wife but he ends up boxed up. That Marty was a funnylookin' guy alright, hairier than Sasquatch, no wonder his wife got the roving eye.

Speaking of roving eyes, I hear that you got a new TV girlfriend. Drinks like a Polish slut, does she? Well, all I can say is that it takes more than an accent and impressive cleavage to make a marriage work, you betcha. My Norm, he's not much to look at, but he makes the best breakfast this side of the border.
Skol,
Marge