My Boy

[cabenson]

When I was in my early twenties, I became friends with a co-worker, and as a result, with her three young boys. They were 8, 10, and 12 years old and always referred to me as "Aunt CB" even though they had a dozen biological aunts. She gave me a room to rent when I was unable to afford my apartment anymore-having recently separated from her husband, she needed a little extra cash- and her boys all moved into the same small room so I could have a place to stay. Shortly after I moved in, she was involved in a serious car accident, and with their father in Texas, I wound up taking care of three boys. Fast-forward five months and she and her hubby have reconciled and I have moved back home and started college. We still worked together, so I was able to keep up to date on all of the happenings with my "nephews". Then I moved away, and except for the occasional Christmas card and work-related contacts, we lost touch. Tonight I got a phone call.

Her youngest son, Josh, had struggled for the last 10 years or so. He was a party-boy and spent time in and out of both jail and rehab. He met a girl, they had a child, but he never settled down. A few years ago, he wrecked his car and broke his back. He recovered, but continued to struggle with drugs and alcohol. His struggle ended last Sunday when he overdosed. He would have been 27 next month. I haven't seen him since he was 10. I still remember this eight year old boy who sat in my lap while we watched a scary movie, a little shit who laughed like crazy when I lifted him up and held him against the wall just for shits and grins. And now he's gone.

The funeral is on Saturday, Mrs. CB has a class, and I need to decide if I am physically able to drive that far. She told me not to feel obliged to attend, but I do. For a few short months almost twenty years ago, he was my boy, and I think I need to say goodbye.

Comments

[jandyle.livejournal.com]

Wow. CB, I'm so sorry. Sometimes it seems so unfair when the past jumps into the present and bites you in the ass.

[slcadet.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* That sucks. I know how it is to lose loved ones, it doesn't get any easier no matter how long it's been since you've seen them.

[sing1118.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's just heartbreaking. I hope you can go without hurting yourself. You're in my thoughts, hon.

[sweetgingertea.livejournal.com]

That's very sad. I'm sorry for you loss and the loss of someone so young.

[bast2.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Bec. I know how that feels as I lost my godchild a few weeks ago to a suicidal overdose. Only you know if you're capable of driving to the funeral--use your best judgement.

[sooozie1982.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you and his family.

[undrthtpaprmoon.livejournal.com]

That is so sad. I am incredibly sorry for your loss CB.

[artskat.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear your bad news, girlfriend. If you need anything. . . call me . Hugs.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.

::hugs::

[speshulduck.livejournal.com]

Much sympathy and hugs, dear :(

[armature.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry CB, very sorry. It sounds like you want to go. If you can't drive, can you bus it?

[coldbeer.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Of course you need to say goodbye. If you don't think you'll be able to drive up yourself, could you ask a good friend to come with you? I hope you'll work out something that doesn't involve you being in any more pain. Lots of strength with this.

[detective-tatas.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry to hear that :(

[mikee-pm.livejournal.com]

i'm so sorry.

[snuffnyc.livejournal.com]

It's always terrible to lose a life so young. I'm sorry for your loss.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Aw, man. I'm really sorry. It's so sad, and such a waste.

Yeah, you do need to say goodbye. I hope you can figure out some way to get there--I don't think you should be driving yourself. Maybe you can get a friend to drive you, and you could share driving duties or something.

[aqua-blurr.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear this, CB. If you can't drive to the funeral, I hope you can find a fitting way to say goodbye. All our sympathies.

[stephbrandes.livejournal.com]

Gosh Cb...I am sorry for your loss. Drugs suck.

[returnofpiper.livejournal.com]

This is heartbreaking, CB. I hope that if you can't go, you can figure out some way to pay your respects. I think the most important thing is that you're remembering him for the little boy you loved. It's always good to have such fond memories.

[ralst.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I hope you manage to attend, getting to say goodbye is so important.

[eclecticfan.livejournal.com]

damn, stud... not a good day. all my best to you and his family. yell if you need anything.

~k