cabenson | Fic for femslash08

Title: Five Times Erica Hahn Lied and the One Time She Didn't
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Pairing: Erica Hahn/Callie Torres
Written for:

mammothluv
Word count: 2,380
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: Through Season 4
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy characters belong to ABC and Shondaland.
Summery: Honesty isn't always the best policy, until it is.
A/N: Thanks to

darandkerry for the beta and wonderful suggestions, and to Mrs CB,

stargazer1960 for encouraging me to write again.

Five Times Erica Hahn Lied and the One Time She Didn’t.

1. The first time she lied, Erica had been trying to shut down that over-zealous resident, Cristina Yang. The young surgeon was talented, Erica had learned just how gifted from the last case she’d taken at Seattle Grace, but she’d since heard the true story behind Yang’s success, and it reeked of prostitution. The words “I date men…” fell from her lips without a thought to guide them, and it was a shame actually, because while she did date men on occasion, she never slept with them. She preferred the fairer sex in the bedroom, but she wasn’t about to let Yang know that. For a brief moment though, the thought of the beautiful, young intern sharing her bed did bring a smile to Erica’s lips, but the smile quickly faded as Yang opened her mouth and stuttered her defense to Erica’s verbal assault. Pitiful, Erica thought, as she focused her attention on the tall blonde standing next to Yang. It was bad enough that Yang had been sleeping with Burke, but the fact that she’d been complicit in covering up his inability to perform in the OR? That was unacceptable, and so was working with Yang. Erica watched the glazed look of horror set in Yang’s eyes as Stevens was chosen for the surgery and allowed herself a small chuckle. Just because she’d said she wouldn’t fuck the girl didn’t mean she couldn’t fuck with the girl. Oh, this was gonna be fun.

2. The second time she lied, Erica was simply trying to avoid getting lured into the drama club known as Seattle Grace Hospital. After her last relationship at Seattle Presbyterian had imploded, she’d promised herself that she would never get involved with a co-worker again. Keeping that vow had proven easier than she’d thought, considering the near incestuous behavior of the staff at Seattle Grace. Now, if she could just get that walking sperm donor, Mark Sloan, to leave her alone, she’d be fine. The man simply would not take no for an answer. Every time she turned around, he was hitting on her, regardless of how callous her previous rejection had been. Sure, she could just come out and tell him that she preferred women, but deep down she worried that such a confession would only encourage the man more. She needed to shut him down effectively without giving herself away. She needed to use reverse psychology.

So, she told Sloan that he was far too pretty for her, and that in order to do her job effectively, she had to leave who she was outside the hospital doors. It was her, not him; it was the job they had to do - anything to get the man to quit fucking coming on to her. The story was such a perfect load of shit that, for a second, she almost believed it herself, at least until the elevator doors opened and she saw Dr. Callie Torres smiling at her. She knew at that moment that some promises were not meant to be kept.

3. The third time she lied, Erica wasn’t sure she’d been successful. Callie had just explained the reason she’d been dodging Erica for the last few days: Addison Montgomery had wondered if they were a couple…a happy lesbian couple, and Callie had kinda freaked out at the idea by jumping on the first available dick and avoiding Erica at all costs. The only way Erica could respond without showing the pain Callie’s reaction had caused was by laughing. Laughter made everything better, right? Laughter would hide the need for false denials. Laughter would hide the ache of knowing that she could never tell Callie how she felt without losing her friendship. And this friendship was far too important to risk on a chance at honesty. So, she laughed.

But Erica’s nervous laughter, coupled with the uncontrollable blush creeping up her neck, almost gave her away. She was relieved when Callie began laughing with her, but the sideways glance thrown her way as the laughter died down led to an awkward silence between them both. It was only when Callie asked to join her in a game of darts that she thought that maybe, just maybe, she had pulled this one off. But as the night wore on and the shots flowed more freely, and especially as Callie’s friendly touches became more frequent while they plotted Mark Sloan’s sexual downfall, Erica knew that she needed to tell Callie the truth - that she was gay and she was interested and that she wanted more than anything to be the happy lesbian couple that Addison had seen.

4. The fourth time she lied, Erica did so with a purpose. Sure, she’d played Callie’s “Let’s fuck with Mark” game at lunch. Hell, who wouldn’t enjoy taunting Sloan’s efforts to turn over a new leaf? But as she laid her head on Callie’s shoulder and listened to her suggestively tease Sloan with the thought of a threesome, Erica swore she heard a hitch in Callie’s breathing. Was it possible that Callie was more interested in the idea than she realized? As she watched Mark stomp off in a huff, Erica attempted to broach the subject, but the Chief arrived and shoved Walter Tapley in her face again, and before she knew it, she was scrubbing in on a surgery that would no doubt ruin her career.

Later, as she prepared to leave for the night, Erica ran into Callie at the elevator, and they laughed as they recounted their lunchtime adventure. Erica was on cloud nine. The Tapley surgery had been a surprising success, and now Callie was standing so close to her they were almost touching. Not unusual behavior for an elevator, but then again, they were the only two occupants. Erica wondered if this would be a good time to talk with Callie, but as she turned toward the brunette, the doors opened and Mark Sloan entered the car. Erica instantly felt herself falling from cloud nine to ground zero.

She listened silently as Callie once again self-projected her own desires of a threesome onto a very frustrated Mark Sloan, trying desperately to keep her focus on the descending elevator floors and not on the frequent feel of Callie’s fingers against hers as the brunette tried to unnerve Mark even more. The closeness, the touching . . . it was simply too much. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop herself from goading Sloan - certainly a macho stud like him would be crushed if he was shown up by a woman in the bedroom. His cock-sure declaration that he wouldn’t be intimidated was all the challenge she needed, and after a brief glance at a grinning Callie, Erica made her move.

She’d originally acted in the hopes of proving to Sloan that a threesome with herself and Callie would leave him a broken man, in both a physical and spiritual sense, but the kiss lasted much longer than she‘d intended. Once she tasted Callie’s lips, Erica knew that she needed to convey a private message to Callie: she was tired of playing games, she knew what she wanted, and she was ready to fight for it.

Erica smiled as she slowly pulled away from the kiss and caught the dazed look on Callie’s face. Her message had been received loud and clear. As the elevator doors opened, she turned to face Sloan, his new leaf crumpled by the apparent bulge in his pants. “See, too much for you,” she taunted as she walked out of the car with a smirk plastered on her face. It had been too much for all of them.

5. The fifth time that she lied, Erica was determined to prove to Dr. Wyatt, and herself, that her increased irritation with Cristina Yang was in no way a direct correlation to her increased awareness that Callie was once again avoiding her. It had been almost a week since the kiss in the elevator, and life was back to the same crap Callie had pulled after the Addison incident- phone calls were not answered, text messages were not returned, and lunches were eaten alone. The only glimpse she’d caught of Callie had been two days ago when she’d been sneaking into an on-call room with Sloan. That same afternoon, Erica had banned Yang from her OR for, of all things, breathing too loudly. Her week had spiraled into a downward tailspin from that moment on, and she now found herself sitting in front of her shrink.

A page indicating that she was needed in the trauma bay gave Erica the excuse she needed to leave Wyatt’s office before making any admissions pertaining to her personal or professional life. She arrived outside of Trauma Room Two just as the other members of the team were gowning up and frowned when Bailey said that Yang could stay, but she couldn’t help smiling when Callie came rushing in the door. However, throughout the trauma, Callie’s weird behavior and overt attempts to avoid sharing the same personal space with Erica finally took its toll, and Erica unleashed her pent up frustrations against an unsuspecting, and undeserving, Yang.

When Andrew was finally freed from his cement tomb, Erica was on the first team in the OR. The surgery was progressing better than expected, and she paused for a brief moment to look through the scrub room window. Callie was there, watching her. Erica stared at her for a moment, a smile forming behind her mask until she saw Sloan walk in and start talking to Callie. Erica immediately turned her focus back to the surgery and criticized the way Yang was holding a clamp.

Scrubbing out, Erica took a break to check on one of her other critical patients, only to be paged back to surgery. As she rushed to the OR, she caught a glimpse of Sloan smiling while holding Callie’s hand and whispering in her ear. Erica stopped for a moment as the realization hit her. The kiss in the elevator had backfired. Not only had she pushed Callie further towards Mark, but she’d destroyed the only real friendship she’d had at this place. She glanced at the couple one more time and sighed in resignation before hurrying to the OR. At least in surgery, she was of value to someone.

Her subsequent over-reaction in the OR, coupled with the Chief’s reprimand, albeit unknowingly, in front of Yang, was enough to send her searching for Dr. Wyatt. If Grey could fire her as a therapist, then so could Erica, but when she reached Wyatt’s office, the door was locked, and the “I will return to the office” arrow was pointing toward 9:00am. Erica looked at her watch and was shocked to see that it was almost midnight. She’d been working the trauma case for almost thirty hours. The exhaustion, both physical and emotional, had taken its toll, and she didn’t know how much longer she could keep it together. “Okay, you were right,” Erica whispered, as she walked away from the closed door, wiping away the few tears that had breached her resolve. Passing on the elevator, she opted for the five flights of stairs as she struggled to collect her emotions.

6. The one time she didn’t lie, Erica was standing in front of the hospital, holding Callie Torres - hell, kissing Callie Torres - and she didn’t care who knew. As far as she was concerned, the only other person who existed in the world was the beautiful woman she was holding in her arms. Erica reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and rested her head against Callie’s. “Got anything else you want to say, Torres?”

Callie smiled shyly and reached up to touch Erica’s face, her fingers tracing the tracks where tears had been just moments before. “Just that I am so tired of running away from you,” she said softly, as she leaned in and kissed Erica’s cheek.

“Good, because I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to chase you,” Erica confessed as she wrapped her arms around Callie and pulled her closer, slowly threading her fingers through the brunette’s silky hair. “I wasn’t expecting this, Callie. I saw you and Sloan and I thought-“

“Mark showed me the difference between wanting what I know and knowing what I want.”

“And?” Erica asked, the emotion causing her voice to tremble.

“I know what I want,” Callie whispered in Erica’s ear, leaving soft kisses along the blonde's jaw line. “I want you.”

Erica sighed in relief as she tilted her head to look at Callie. “I’m not a perfect person, Callie. I can’t make any promises…”

“I’m not asking for any, Erica. I just want the chance to see if this is real.”

“Okay then, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted . . . and hungry . . . and I really, really need a drink. Wanna grab some food and go to my place? To, uh, continue this conversation?”

“Yeah,that sounds good, but first...” Callie began placing feather light kisses on Erica’s face. She’d just moved her mouth to meet Erica’s when she heard the sound of a throat clearing a few feet away.

“Ehem, excuse me Dr. Torres, if you could please control your lips for a moment, I need to speak with Dr. Hahn.”

“You have got to be shitting me,” Callie whispered, withdrawing from Erica’s embrace and slowly turning around. “Of course, Bailey,” she said with a slightly embarrassed smile as she walked over to the bench and sat next to Erica’s bag.

“What can I do for you, Dr. Bailey?” Erica asked, unable to keep the impatience from voice.

“You uh, left your keys at the nurses’ station. I thought you might need them, especially with, uh, anyway, here are your keys. I need to get this baby boy home.”

“Thank you,” Erica said as she reached out for her keys and watched Bailey turn Tuck’s stroller toward the parking lot. She was about to return to Callie’s side, when Bailey stopped and turned back around. “Is there something else you wanted, Dr. Bailey?”

“I just wanted to say that it’s about damned time, for the two of you. You’re good together. That’s all.”

Callie stood up and walked over to Erica. “Thanks, Bailey.” She watched as Bailey and Tuck walked away, and then snaked her arm into Erica’s. “C’mon Dr. Hahn, let’s go home.”