cabenson | Silly Song Lyrics

Next month, the Columbus GLBT Theater Festival will begin. My friends, who make up a troupe called "The PuppetQueers" will be doing a big gay puppet show where the puppets sing parody lyrics to pop tunes from yesterday and today. At the request of

theholyinnocent, I am posting the lyrics to the two songs I wrote...so blame her ;)

Not sure if these will make the cut, but I encourage anyone in Central Ohio to attend the festival. Support your local (and countrywide) queer theater nerds.

And now I present,

HoYay! (to "DayBreak" by Barry Manilow)

Watchin’ my TV
There’s loving going on out in space
With Spock and Captain Kirk
I’m Clickin’ my remote
And Peppermint Patty feels butch
When Marcie calls her “Sir”

Olivia and Alex
Uncle Bill, Mr. French
Buffy and Faith,
Lex and Clark Kent

They call it HoYay!
If you want to believe
That Velma is gay
Like Bert and Ernie
They call it HoYay!
Gomer and Barney
Are gonna PING, PING, PING
All across my screen

It used to be subtext
Back when Xena did Gabrielle
In hot tubs- made me twitch
Homoeroticism Yay!
That’s what we call it now when we say
Robin was Batman’s bitch

Skipper and Gilligan
Q and Picard
Cagney Lacey
The whole cast of “OZ”

They call it HoYay!
If you want to believe
That He Man is gay
Like Kate and Allie
They call it HoYay!
Storm and Wonder Woman
Are gonna PING, PING, PING
All across my screen
Pinging ‘cross my screen, Pinging, Pinging
Pinging ‘cross my screen, Pinging, Pinging

and

Lucy On The TV With Breastplates
(to "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" by the Beatles"

LUCY ON THE TV WITH BREASTPLATES

Picture a tall dark-haired woman in leather,
Sword in one hand and a blonde by her side
Throwing her chakram ‘round Europe and Asia
The girl with the Amazon thighs

Saturday nights with a bottle of wine,
I’d sit and patiently wait
An acrobatic warrior who sported a shrill
Battle cry

Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Aiy-aiy-aiy

Watch as she battles Callisto and Alti
Throws Gabby off cliffs; knocks Joxer out cold
Fights for the good with Lao Ma and M’Lila
Kicked Odin’s ass over Rheingold

Then came the time to teach Gabby the pinch
To ghost-fight she had to be dead
But that soul-sucking bastard (yes, Tapert)
Cut off her head…

Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Lucy on the TV with breastplates
Aiy-aiy-aiy

Picture a bard with no warrior soul mate
An urn filled with ash and memories so pure
Millions of fans round the world are all pissed off
They need to have XENA closure

Lucy on the big screen with breastplates
Lucy on the big screen with breastplates
Lucy on the big screen with breast plates
Aiy-aiy-aiy

Lucy on the big screen with breastplates
(I want)
Lucy on the big screen with breast plates
(Gimme)
Lucy on the big screen with breastplates
Aiy-aiy-aiy