Happy Birthday, Chef!!

[cabenson]

These are just something I worked on for heathers's birthday. Have a great day, H! Mrs CB and I will be celebrating here for you (if you know what I mean).



There once was an actress from LA
Who swore up and down, "I'm NOT gay!"
So she married her beard
And it's just as we feared
"I want to have a spit baby some day"


There once was a blond from the South
Who spewed genius and snark from her mouth
By her co-star she was ditched
And to a chef then pitched
Now she spends her down time getting soused.


There once was a model from Texas
Who's beauty stunned folks of both sexes
Till she spoke with those lips
Love for Republican Dicks
Must be mis-wiring found in her nerve plexus.


There once was a cop in New York
Whose lover is secretly touring with Bjork
Tired of acting the nun
She stowed her Big Gun
"Maybe in bed, Novak ain't such a dork."


There once was a lawyer in Nantucket
Who said, "If it's female, I'll fuck it!
But boys don't despair,
When you see my blonde hair,
Next to your wife's clit as I suck it!"

Comments

[bluepoet.livejournal.com]

sweet. i wish it was my birthday, too, i'm enjoying your wordfun just the same.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Tell me when it is...and I'll add ya to my list :)

[eclecticfan.livejournal.com]

:: shameless self promotion ::

mine's january 20th, hint, hint

[bluepoet.livejournal.com]

rock! nov. 28th. i sometimes have the unfortunate problem of a thanksgiving birthday--i hate turkey.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

BWAH! Excellent and worthy of Our Chef. Very inspired, CB.

Now I have mental images of Alex touring with Bjork. It sounds like a sitcom, doesn't it?

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Maybe we can get a Sitcom Challenge out of this.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

OOOOh...go with that idea, CB!

[emd4v15.livejournal.com]

They're FANTASTIC!! They made me laugh lots (I'd laugh at anything atm though- it's 2:40am and I can't sleep).

Because I pick on her so much, I bet Casey would by dynamite in the sack- it's my luck. It seemed like the appropriate time to bring this up- whether it actually is or not is another matter.

I still think Angie's yummy. Plans for my one-girl fan club are well underway. Details in my LJ.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loves me some AH...but only to look at. Until we can kidnap her and de-program her from her Republican upbringing. Then I shall embrace her heart,(body...OH YES), and soul.

[emd4v15.livejournal.com]

You're getting very close to cutting in on my territory there. If you're not careful, I'll call your wife. (Aaaah... to be young and single!!)

[heathers.livejournal.com]

Ha! HaHA! I love them. <pets teh prettehs> Thank you, Teh Hott Lesbian Love! I am honored to have received such great gifts from a <ahem> more worldly <koff> woman such as yourself. >;)

Best birthday EVAR! /mantra.

-H

[aqua-blurr.livejournal.com]

Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! So, so funny!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I may add a couple more after some wine.

[mikee-pm.livejournal.com]

excellent!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Mikee. But I forgot Petrovsky and Liz.

[detective-tatas.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHA!!

..I should have put the coffee down before I read these. crap.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I guess maybe my posts shouls have a disclaimer added...just to protect myself.

[detective-tatas.livejournal.com]

Yes!

WARNING:
do not read while operating heavy machinery or drinking hot liquids.

Cabenson will not be held responsible for malfunctioning laptops and keyboards.