Five Things Meme

[cabenson]

For ariestess





5. I wish I had told Olivia how much I admire her on a professional level. Olivia can form such intense connections with the victims and sometimes, I envy that. My own spectacular attempt to connect with a victim left a young boy in a vegetative state, a mother devastated, and a scar on my psyche to forever match the one on my forehead. Sometimes though, Olivia can get too involved with the cases and this has begun to take a toll on her personal well-being. I do think that when she allows her vulnerability to show, she is at her bravest. I’ve always believed it took real courage to cry.

4. I wish I had told Olivia that I wasn’t nearly as strong as I allowed people to believe. Like a Prada handbag in Chinatown, confidence can be faked, and inside the cold exterior I manufactured to protect myself from everyone else’s expectations, I was just a human being who needed love and warmth and support. And now, here I am in an unfamiliar town, surrounded by people I don’t like, and living a life I don’t want. I don’t think I have the strength to pretend anymore.

3. I wish I had told Olivia she was right about the bangs. Considering the way her hair was growing out at the time, I really didn’t think she had room to talk, but now I would give anything for her to tell me they looked like shit. The moment my new life in Witness Protection began, I started growing them out again. I’m not sure if I did it to help hide myself in the future, or to help me hold on to the only thing remaining from my past.

2. I wish I had told Olivia yes when she asked me to spend the night with her after we learned about the threat against my life. I accepted her offer of protection, but I had to make a point that Zapata and Velez were not going to scare me off. But I was scared. I was scared because I knew that a night in Olivia Benson’s arms would be my undoing. And eighteen months later, when I returned to testify against Connors, it was.

1. I wish I had told Olivia goodbye. I wish that had I had told myself to screw what everyone else thought and just grabbed her that night on the roadside, grabbed her in front of Elliot, Hammond, everyone and just told her the truth. I wish I could have kissed away her tears as she struggled to ask, “How long?” I wish I could have told her that it would only be for a little while, but I didn’t want to lie to her.

I wish I could have told her that I love her.

Comments

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ah, so you have been doing something beyond yoga, guzzling margaritas, and beating my spouse at Literati!

I like this:

Like a Prada handbag in Chinatown, confidence can be faked

And I love that you break up the drama and the angst with #3: hahahahahha! And #6 should be:

I wish I had told Olivia to always embrace her inner butch and NEVER, EVER let her hair grow out.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I don't always guzzle my margaritas, sometiems I actually sip them ;)

Glad you liked it. Your request is almost done as well ;)