If my cat bites me and leaves a bruise...

[cabenson]

is it still considered a hickey? Greyson seemed to have his ass in an uproar-no, seriously, his tail, right near his ass was hurting him and I, having lost that ability to read feline minds during the great hangover that was 2004, scratched him there and I obviously shouldn't have. I told him he should use his words, but he just glared at me and went for my nose.

We tried to check for another abscess, cause I am so not going through that whole "kitty smells like ass" thing again. We didn't see anything, but that doesn't mean much around here. Three out of the other four boys (not my sweet, sweet Bruin) just love to give the old man a hard time. Guess that's what he gets for being such a bitchy queen.

Anyway, Mrs. CB took great pleasure in watching me squirm in pain as she administered first aid. I think she has a problem. But I love her anyway-she's ironing my clothes for the date I have with my girlfriend tomorrow after work :)

Speaking of the old ball and chain, we are looking for bedroom furniture. We have been together for seven years, and aside from the first year where we crammed ourselves into a double bed that was nestled in an antique headboard/footboard thingy, we have been sleeping on a queen-size bed that sits on a metal frame. I am trying to convince the Mrs that a metal headboard wouldn't show scuffing from the handcuffs would go beautifully with the metal ceiling fan. We also have to get a footboard below the mattress line, or no footboard at all because the gimpier of the two of us often has to roll on and off the bed. And it has to be low enough that Greyson can jump up...all 20-some pounds of him.

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? I drank a bottle of wine-a very nice one if I remember correctly-Wed night as I SG-1-a-thonned. Oh, Mrs. CB was out of town and the strippers were charging extra, so it was just me and the boys. Thursday I got up, showered, put on my Sock-Monkey jammies and continued with the DVD's. Mrs. CB came home TDay evening with PIE!!!!! and we just relaxed. I did get a call from my sister one of those days asking me when we were all getting together for Christmas. I wanna know who determined that just because I am the oldest (wisest, sanest, and smoking-damned-hottest) that I get stuck organizing this shit. I have three Daddies to organize the holidays around as well as Mrs CB's family. And then there is Christmas with the cats to think about too. God knows there will be hell to pay if those fat, furry bastards don't get their Christmas Catnip and Canned Kitty Food. Aw fuck it, they can mail me my gifts and I'll mail theirs.

As I close this edition of Gimpy Dyke Diary, I will share something with all of you, especially those who once serviced me as part of my Harem. Last night I received an email from a young girl who was depressed about being gay, thinking that she would never find anyone. She stumbled upon my blog, and through this outlet of my scattered thoughts, Mrs. CB and so very many of you (except the pervs-I'm looking at you!), she now has hope that one day, she will find someone to share her life with too.

So lift a wee glass (wee GLASS!! theholyinnocent, not "wee lass") my friends and toast yourselves for just being the wonderful bitches you all are. And I meant that in the kindest way. And to my closet fan, you hang in there. It took me until I was 33, but I found a keeper and you will too, even if you have to go through a few tossers to find her. I will email you soon, I promise!

Comments

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

I love it when you talk about Greyson's ass!

I love you too, Babay.

[wingsfan.livejournal.com]

CB, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not a perv. I was merely a tiny (go ahead, laugh at the short jokes) part of el Harem.

And yeah, metal is the way to go. Your handcuffs lasts longer, too. Though it'll be painful if you accidentally hit on it. Trust me, you don't want to try to explain to anyone how you got that bruise.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Poor Greyson! Hope he's okay. But seriously--remember the time you scratched my ass and I hit you over the head with an empty bottle of Stoli? *When* will you learn?

Last night I received an email from a young girl who was depressed about being gay, thinking that she would never find anyone.

It is wonderful that this girl found you! It's got to feel good knowing you have helped someone in this way. So hats off to you. Super Gimp, Super Gimp, she's super gimpy...yow. [/rickjames]

And if said girl is reading this, I can only echo what you've said: Never give up hope!

not "wee lass"

AND...remember the time you lifted up Lahbib, trying to drink vodka from her mouth? Not pretty. No wonder your back is so screwed up!

[myrth1.livejournal.com]

Cheers to teh harem lusty wench ;)

[kooili.livejournal.com]

I just had to poke my nose in to say this.. thank you for sharing that little anecdote and (at a selfish level) reminding me that I'm not the only one who took 33 years to figure it all out and connect with the other half of the rest of my life :).

Hope you and Mrs had a great holiday. Mind if I friend you...?

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Thanks for poking your nose in! Friend away, I shall friend you in return :)