Five Reasons I am an Asshole Meme

[cabenson]

Embrace your inner asshole and tell me the top 5 reasons you are such a dick. Put this in your journal and tag five other assholes to do it as well.



1. I am less than pleasant in the mornings and rarely acknowledge Mrs. CB even when she has a piping hot cup of coffee waiting for me when I get out of the shower. I sleepwalk through getting ready and grumpily offer up a cheek for a goodbye kiss all the while actively searching for the boys so I can give them a proper goodbye.

2. If I don't want to do something or I'm too tired (lazy), I use the back as an excuse whether it hurts or not. This includes tasks such as getting groceries, doing the cat litter, cleaning up cat barf and visiting my family. Especially the in-laws. I will be using this a lot in the next six-twelve months. Don't take it personally.

3. I will tell the Burning Bush's husband that the Mexican Polka music they are playing outside is too loud and I can hear it through my open windows (even though I can't). After they turn it down or go inside, I shut the windows and turn the air back on.

4. I can be asshole-honest when I am drunk which I am not now, so I may re-do this meme this weekend. My best-friend's ex-partner can attest to this...a lot.

5. While I have a medical excuse right now-shut it, I do!!-, I deny Mrs. CB teh sex more than I should (see #2). However, I perk right up if tool shopping is promised afterwards. And I constantly request a "caffe au lait colored whore" as a present.

I tag ALL the assholes on my flist. They know who they are.

Comments

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Mrs. CB, come to Baby. I'll treat you right. (Okay, I just want someone who will make me coffee in the morning.)

[bast2.livejournal.com]

::raises hand:: i'll make you coffee in the morning--it's the FIRST thing i do--don't even have a cigarette until the second cup (and for you i'll postpone that till after sex). =)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ha! Now that's devotion. :)

don't even have a cigarette until the second cup (and for you i'll postpone that till after sex). =)

That's good, because I really don't like cigarette smoke...

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Okay, you can have her for ONE night, but Teh Librarian comes home with me. And she better make good coffe ;)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Teh Librarian is off caffeine. (And I don't even remember the last time she made coffee...) Would you accept a caffeine-free chai instead? Maybe she'll put some bourbon in it for you.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I suppose that will have to do ;)

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

(Replies in breathless whispers and bad Spanish/ French accents)
Will that be Colombian, chiquicita, or French Roast, mon petite chou chou?

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ah, the mere words...I hope CB realizes how lucky she is!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

She does indeedy!