Five Reasons I am an Asshole Meme

[cabenson]

Embrace your inner asshole and tell me the top 5 reasons you are such a dick. Put this in your journal and tag five other assholes to do it as well.



1. I am less than pleasant in the mornings and rarely acknowledge Mrs. CB even when she has a piping hot cup of coffee waiting for me when I get out of the shower. I sleepwalk through getting ready and grumpily offer up a cheek for a goodbye kiss all the while actively searching for the boys so I can give them a proper goodbye.

2. If I don't want to do something or I'm too tired (lazy), I use the back as an excuse whether it hurts or not. This includes tasks such as getting groceries, doing the cat litter, cleaning up cat barf and visiting my family. Especially the in-laws. I will be using this a lot in the next six-twelve months. Don't take it personally.

3. I will tell the Burning Bush's husband that the Mexican Polka music they are playing outside is too loud and I can hear it through my open windows (even though I can't). After they turn it down or go inside, I shut the windows and turn the air back on.

4. I can be asshole-honest when I am drunk which I am not now, so I may re-do this meme this weekend. My best-friend's ex-partner can attest to this...a lot.

5. While I have a medical excuse right now-shut it, I do!!-, I deny Mrs. CB teh sex more than I should (see #2). However, I perk right up if tool shopping is promised afterwards. And I constantly request a "caffe au lait colored whore" as a present.

I tag ALL the assholes on my flist. They know who they are.

Comments

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

5 reasons you are such a dick
well, this should be rather easy for me, because I think I was supposed to be a man- at least that is what all my ex's tell me

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I'm not an asshole, I'm sweet and kind and loving and Dwarves love me and mice make my clothes and blue birds sit on my finger and sing Disney songs at me.

Um. I have to think about this but my first thought is I get frustrated really easily and yell at people because of it.

[betsybanger.livejournal.com]

Sweet embraceable asshole that I am, here goes.

1. I believe that I can get away with not doing house chores just because I am the main wage earner. My wife daily reminds me that she also works a full-time job and I should hire a maid, which makes me saunter on over to wash the dishes, go clean the bathroom and put away my stinky shoes.

2. She loves to go shopping on the weekends (especially the fleamarket which is really hot this time of year), and I don't. I always use the excuse that I'm exhausted from my gigs. On Fridays I work 8-5 and then play with the band till 2am Saturday, and I get home around 3am. I play again Saturday from 9pm-2am and get home at 3am Sunday. Does that make me a tired asshole?

3. I have stopped notably checking out women when she's with me. Mind you, I still look on the sly.

4. I hog the remote to watch women's softball on ESPN, NASCAR, SciFi channel, CSI, and Discovery Channel. She only watches SoapNet.

5. I can be a bit controlling at times

I chose not to tag anyone as I don't want to push someone out of the asshole closet.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Mrs. CB, come to Baby. I'll treat you right. (Okay, I just want someone who will make me coffee in the morning.)

[bast2.livejournal.com]

::raises hand:: i'll make you coffee in the morning--it's the FIRST thing i do--don't even have a cigarette until the second cup (and for you i'll postpone that till after sex). =)

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

Just five reasons? Where do I stop? But anyway, before I get to that, is this what you had in mind for iconage:

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Oh that is great. Can I snag it?

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

It's all yours :-)

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[snuffnyc.livejournal.com]

BAN ME. I love it. I love it so much, and ohhhhh for the love of all that is holy, does Alex look HOTTTTTT in it... marry me icon queen!!!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

::snerk::

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

That would be #6 on my list.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I am the secondary salary in our household and she still does the chores. I do fix things tho.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Okay, you can have her for ONE night, but Teh Librarian comes home with me. And she better make good coffe ;)

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

Heh. What is it about banning that inspires so much love? That scene is definitely an A/O OTP moment.

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

(Replies in breathless whispers and bad Spanish/ French accents)
Will that be Colombian, chiquicita, or French Roast, mon petite chou chou?

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

One has not lived until they have been banned from an MH board. Trust me, I know :)

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ha! Now that's devotion. :)

don't even have a cigarette until the second cup (and for you i'll postpone that till after sex). =)

That's good, because I really don't like cigarette smoke...

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Teh Librarian is off caffeine. (And I don't even remember the last time she made coffee...) Would you accept a caffeine-free chai instead? Maybe she'll put some bourbon in it for you.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Ah, the mere words...I hope CB realizes how lucky she is!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I suppose that will have to do ;)

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

She does indeedy!