The Post that Links You to the World.

[cabenson]

Well, Friendslist, the time has come to make a very difficult announcement. After seven wonderful years with Mrs. CB, I have decided to leave her so I can be with My Hawt New Boyfriend. I think I'd be a beautiful bride to Mr. Bowl-cut Shooterman. Only in Central Ohio people, only in Central Ohio.

There has been some craziness, and some sadness in the news recently. Sadness first, Lauren Crowley , a beautiful young TV reporter at my favorite local news station died suddenly after a short illness that was related to a car accident she was involved in last month. I remember telling Mrs. CB that we should watch this girl's career, she was that damn good. Such a loss.

Crazy news includes that whack job nutter JMK and the Jon Benet case. More creepy details surface about this guy every day. And then there is the I Meow at You, Biotch! neighborly feud. Idiot of the day award goes to Mom,I swear, I'm not touching myself down there.

Slow days at work = NewsJunky CB getting her fix.

Comments

[coolbyrne.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck, I literally jerked my head back when I saw Mr. BowlerHead Man. Eeek!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Hey now, that's my Hawt New Boyfriend!

[coolbyrne.livejournal.com]

Stupid LJ totally cut off the rest of my post. After "Eeek" I said, "he is soooooooooooooooo totally hawt!" Erm, yeah.

[ralst.livejournal.com]

I think Mr Penis-pump and Mr Bowl-cut should run away, far away, and get married, thus saving everyone else from their charms.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

They both seem to have severe "mother" issues. Master Norman Bates, anyone?

[tudorlady.livejournal.com]

God, that hairstyle went out around. . . 1066.

Seriously. I've seen in representations of men (specifically archers, I think) from the 11th and 12th Centuries. It's Anglo-Norman. And in that context, it looks okay.

In jailhouse orange, however, it's not quite so convincing.

But still, he has a haunted house? Hell, I'd want to go see it, and I'd probably end up with an ass full of buckshot.

And hey, if you steal a meme from me, you've got to fill mine out :P

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

The house is supposedly an urban legend. I almost feel bad for him-I mean how many times have people just walked onto his property and knocked on his door or windows at all hours? And all to see his skeery hair cut?

[roman-machine.livejournal.com]

Oh, ffs! The man is 29 years old and he's too embarrassed to admit it was a penis pump. He'd better get comfortable using them 'cause with that attitude, it's gonna be his only "friend" for a long time.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Oh, if he gets conviceted, I thik he'll meet a few "new" friends...

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey.

Lauren Crowner was lovely. How can she share a post with Bowl-Cut-Scary-Boy?
Ah, well, it's news.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I hate that My Hawt New Boyfriend gets so much airtime and they hardly give her story any time at all.

[stephbrandes.livejournal.com]

You gave him that haircut didn't you? Just to keep all the other gals away from him.

I actually gave my brother a similar haircut after I graduated beauty school. He kept bugging me for a haircut so I gave him one. Hehe....he didn't ask for another one for years.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

How did bowl cut guy get a hold of a gun? Just looking at him should indicate Teh Crazy.

The bomb story made me giggle a really lot.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Meow!

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

"When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb."

In an airport. He said it was a bomb.
This individual is clearly swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.