CB's Question of the Day

[cabenson]

What is the absolute worse movie you have ever seen?

Comments

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

You must be psychic or something (or talking to my missus again), because last week we rented from Netflix this horrible piece of shit. Granted, I am not a fan of slasher/horror films to begin with, but I could barely sit through the film, particularly after its homophobic "twist" near the end. I was so angry about it that I even tried to write a negative review of it on Netflix but couldn't get it posted b/c of some technical glitch.

Worst Movie Ever

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

To me, Worst Movie has to be a picture with major studio or actors in it. Indies tend to be filled with components that can bring something with merit down. I have seen some with no visible means of support. I'm thinking of you Ms. July- "you and me and everyone we know"-what was that about really, someone tell me.

Before a month ago, it was Tarzan of the Apes with Bo "my shirt is wet again" Derek. "Striptease", ,Demi's gem, doesn't count since it is the only movie that I walked out on-in my life.
The new champion is "Bloodrayne", absolute crap, stem to stern. I never thought Ben Kingsley would ever deliver bad acting, even spouting lines from the phone book. Maybe he should have, the plot may have been better. loken,wooden and one note, and "i'm a bad ass" michelle must have been too tired partying in the trailer to appear human on film. It would have improved if they were asleep, sleepwalking, zombies instead of vampires. Really can't say anything good about it, at least, TotA had Bo soaked in the river water.

Re: Worst Movie Ever

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

OMG, I totally forgot about Tarzan. What the heck was that? Poor Peter O'Toole.

Re: Worst Movie Ever

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

Yes, for the love of M&Ms, plain and peanut, how could he go from Lawrence ,Lion in Winter, the Ruling Class, the Stunt Man, My Favorite Year---to Club Paradise? Was he in Tarzan? I've forgotten that. He must have put some hoodoo on me to blot out the memory.
There could be another whole catagory, great actors subjected to shit scripts.

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

300
... the most homophobic mainstream flick I have seen in years. It's as if the villianizing of gay characters was part of the the plot!

"Let's take all the bad guys and girls and make them queer!... that'll REALLY make the teenagers hate them!" "Let's make Xerxes this strange transgender middlesex sort of character to shock the hell out of suburban movie goers and depict him as a vicious murderer while we are at it."

And let's forget that it is a well-known fact that Spartan men were highly "flexible" wtih regard to their sexual preferences.

Ew... the whole thing was cheap manipulation of people's homophobia. Made me really nuts.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

And don't forget the unnecessary raping of Lena Headey's character. Considering, ironically enough since it's from a Frank Miller story, it was a scene *not* lifted from the original text.

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

Opps,
I liked that one. It's a comic book. They didn't gloss over the Spartan manlove ----shield mates were there. The comment was that the Athenians were boy lovers.
As for the overthetop Xerxes, he was just a nutbag, megalomaniac ---so are all the villains in the comics. So is Kim in North Korea.

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

noted... well, variety is the spice of life and while i interpret the transgendered murdous Xerxes as a blatant manipulation of history and homophobia. You see him as a nutbug. : ) all's good. cheers! Viva la variety! However, I respectfully disagree agreeably...

Granted, it was a graphic novel-- and I appreciate Frank Miller's work. I just don't like the fact that now every 14 year old boy who saw the movie now believes that Leonidas and Xerxes were both at the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C.... because Xerxes was never there... and never, ever came face to face with Leonidas.

But I will admit that I have developed a particular and somewhat biased disdain for blatant representation of homosexuality alongside deformity -- which amounts to manipulation of American well-documented homophobia- the largest media consumption market in the world. It sells!

The frenching lesbians with the bondage chains, collars and scarred branded faces --- all in the BAD GUY's camp! were just a little over the top for me.

comic book history

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

I respectfully yield to your offense at the selling of a totally unhistorical, bastardized comic as history and supporting the pubescent indoctrination of homophobia in popular culture. I agree. But this was also the most homoerotic thing that I've seen on film.
Not many adults have read or heard of Herodotus, probably the most quoted of the historians. Even his telling of the battle is questioned, politics and propaganda were not born in this century. Yes, there was not an iota of fact in this 'film'. Well, the festival in august played a small part, Leonidas did die there. The persians did find out about the mountain pass and flank the greeks- but there was no such grotesquely deformed greek as their Benedict Arnold(we could have a discussion about the gross character assassination of this man too.) Yes, the Greek city-states squabbled and many sided with the Persians. Getting everyone to agree was like herding cats(UN, anyone?). Xerxes was slowed by the Spartans who won the propaganda war. Publicity like that costs billions today. But this movie or comic-history? Of course not. Not anymore than 'Pearl Harbor ' is-simply horrid movie.
I totally understand your disdain for the representation of the grotesque here as vile,distasteful,and traitorous, essentially homophobic. Xerxes certainly didn't look like a refugee from a mad max film. Perhaps, it was taken by Miller as Herodotus mentioned the Persians to be- having a feminine nature. This was all to glorify the manly Spartans(Herodotus favored them over the other greeks-bent as he was), to immortalize them in a book...They,the Persians, dressed differently,exotically, in silks,bejeweled. Prejudices were used then too. I doubt that any of us would disagree. Philosophically, we are in concurrence. If I was at a different time in my life,I'd be just as angry. I took the film simply as an exercise in style. A telling with a decided bias to present a fable, the perfect versus imperfect, neither of which actually ever exists.

[macayagirl.livejournal.com]

Eyes Wide Shut not only made me want to claw my eyes out but also those of the friend that dragged me to see it and refused to let me leave the theater --she pretty much sat on me. The worst part? All the farking sycophantic film school students in the audience.

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, that is a definite candidate. Really terrible, and it is sad that it was Kubrick's last film.

Another nominee for a bad film is...see icon. Well, practically anything that Brian DePalma does is crap to me.

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

I agree totally with you. A true disappointment was his last film. One thing that I finally noticed as an admirer of Kubrick's films was how much of a misogynist he really was.

[cleo]

I get yelled at a lot for this, but...Garden State. I couldn't even sit through the whole thing it was so...terrible (soundtrack is good, though).

[bookgrrrl.livejournal.com]

I will sit with you in solidarity. That movie was shit.

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

I've seen so many shite movies. While narrowing down the worst of the worst, I found a pattern: three of the worst movies I've ever seen star Josh Hartnett. There's Pear Harbor, which makes the history major in me seethe with rage; The Faculty, which the awesome presence of Bebe Neuwirth and Jon Stewart and the awesome hotness of Jordana Brewster couldn't save; and The Black Dahlia, which has the dubious distinction of being the only movie I've ever walked out of the theater on.

[macayagirl.livejournal.com]

How could I forget the wretched mess that was Black Dahlia? Oh yeah, because I pounded my head on concrete to make it go away. The whole movie I was dumbfounded by how much Hillary Swank totally did not look even the same gender as Mia Kirshner. Also, I sniggered at how the ripped pantyhose look seemed to have follwed MK from L Word. Part of her contract? Will only take parts that require them as part of costume?
Now the floodgates have opened and I'm rememebering how much I hated Momento. I can't even watch the whole damn movie because I fall asleep within 2 scenes, that's how painful it is for me to watch.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

How could I forget the wretched mess that was Black Dahlia? Oh yeah, because I pounded my head on concrete to make it go away.
LOL!!!!

OK, I'll put it on my must-miss list :D :D

[medie]

Before Sunrise (I think that was the name) Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy on a train. Big romance movie.

Wanted to smash the tv from boredom about halfway into it.

Legends of the Fall also gets my vote. OMG *SNORE*

[godessillyria.livejournal.com]

For me, no doubt, it was "The Talented Mr. Ripley". It was a total beating from start to finish. The only thing that saved it from being a complete pile of fester poop was the location. I developed a hatred for all thing Gwyneth after that. I remember me and my husband exiting the screening room and telling people to get their money back. The group of people that were leaving with us concurred wholeheartedly, so it wasn't that we had a skewed view of the film.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

There was this movie called, er, One Night in Heaven, I think, and it starred the blond guy from the Blue Lagoon. I can't remember the plot at all, I think he was a male dancer or something, but I remember it being the most pointless movie I'd ever seen. It was supposed to be one of those 80's sex comedies, but, aside from the male nudity, I don't remember anything funny in it.

Okay, I looked it up. It was supposed to be a drama, actually. I guess we went to see it because we wanted to see Christopher Atkin naked, but it was a stupid, stupid movie.

[sr-m-grammatica.livejournal.com]

And _Blue Lagoon_ was BETTER???

SMG

[tallulah71.livejournal.com]

House of Whipcord - By far, the worst movie I've ever seen. I think they filmed it entirely at night, with no lighting.

Two movies I wish I had never seen, Event Horizon and Silent Night, Deadly Night. Guhh.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Major Studios:

Feast - to paraphrase Matt Damon during Project Greenlight 'Wes Craven calls this the worst script he's read in decades and you *buy* it!?!'. What started out as a quirky and interesting flick quickly devolved into one of the most misogynistic pieces of tripe I've ever seen.

Stealth - aka, the things I'll do to see Jessica Biel mostly naked. Never mind the fact that this was one of the most nauseatingly jingoistic movies, it was just flat out *boring*. And when you make Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel boring (we'll ignore Josh Lucas since he's like the poor man's Cole Hauser) you need to have your director's card revoked.

Independent:

Zombie Doom - My addiction to zombie movies means I *must* see every piece of crap zombie movie released EVER! This movie made me want to beat everyone involved with a tire-iron... then beat myself in the head to make me forget I'd ever seen it!

Shatter Dead - Another zombie movie I was compelled to watch. At the time this was released on DVD, everyone in the micro-mini scene was *raving* about how awesome this movie was. I wanted to ask just what the Hell they were all smoking and could I have some. A spectacularly craptacular feature that's excessively padded to fill 85 minutes but feels like 200 with all the art school, patchoolie smelling, converse wearing pretentions that make art school students so damned annoying - I say this with love.. and as a former art school grad.

The *only* reason this film is memorable is due to a scene where the lead actress gets fucked with a gun... and I'm not talking metaphorically.

[sr-m-grammatica.livejournal.com]

The film that immediately comes to mind is that 1982 stinker _Best Little Whorehouse in Texas_. That is one film that I almost left before it finished screening. Memorable for its tackiness and my incredulity at the filmmaker's audacious attempt to get the audience to care about the plight of the inhabitants of the Chicken Ranch. Pity the poor prosties, all of whom look as wholesome and unmarked as the University of Texas cheerleaders, who may lose their happy home! Dolly Parton, cleavage flying, is unappealing as the madame, and Burt Reynolds is Burt Reynolds, smarmy and hairy. I cannot for the life of me remember why I went to see the film in the first place.

Feh.

SMG

[darandkerry.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I remember watching first hand as Marvin Zindler's reports caused the closing of the Chicken Ranch in LaGrange. It was quite the news at the time.

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

Oh,sister. I didn't have the wherewithal to see said film. Based on the above, i've been blessed. But I have been secretly admiring your icons. Black Narcissus is one of my guilty pleasures. Each of the sisters were fascinating. I admired Phillippa,identified with Briony, and watched Honey like a bad accident waiting to happen. In my mind, Ruth and sister superior had a 'history', unrequited,as the order would have it. But, face it, Ruth wanted Clodagh like a dog wants a bone. Driven mad, I tell you, by the forbidden nature of her desires! Heeeee. love that art direction.

[sr-m-grammatica.livejournal.com]

My child, I've seen almost every film with nuns in it, except for _Black Narcissus_. I have it on my to-see list. Reading your post makes me even more interested in seeing it! Thank you for the comments.

SMG

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BN?

[raginhoops.livejournal.com]

OMG, sister, I can't believe this. Where did you get your icons? Get thee to blockbuster, netflix, amazon, quickly. There was not much of a story; it was more about atmosphere. The art direction and cinemetography won Oscars that year, beautiful images. It is why it is in my top 5 nun movies.
1. Song of Bernadette. JJ, sigh, I was totally in love with her as a child.
2. Two Mules for sister sara Loved shirley and clint in this road movie. the ending was perfect in the bath.
3.The nun's story. audrey scrubbing the floors remains an enduring visual in film.
4. Sound of music the hills are alive......julie was so cute with her short do. crush again
5. BN
HM,,,,Dead man walking great acting by Sean Penn authentic cajun accent!

Re: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BN?

[sr-m-grammatica.livejournal.com]

Let us not forget _Lilies of the Field_,--Sidney Portier teaching the sisters to sing A-men, not Ah-men! Priceless!

_The Trouble with Angels_, _Where Angels Go, Trouble Follows_, --Haley Mills gets into trouble at her Catholic girls' schools. Fun.

_The Bells of St. Mary's_--Bingo and Bergman! Sigh.

_In This House of Breed_--Diana Rigg leaves it all behind to find peace with the sisters of Breed.

Isn't this fun?

SMG

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

The absolute worse movie I have ever seen is The Messenger with Milla Jovovich as Joan of Arc.
The only reason that I remained in the theatre was that is was "sort of" the first date for CB and me.

We were chaperoned by friends.

Anyways, for months afterward our big joke was to frantically demand, "I must be confessed!" And if you were unfortunate enough to see the movie, you know what I am talking about.

[and-your-point.livejournal.com]

Battlefield Earth has got to be one of the worst films ever made.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/battlefield_earth/

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

OMG I was searching my mind for the name of this movie, because that's the one I was going to mention as my own worst!

Yeah, it's... wow. Friends of ours rented it, watched it, then passed it on to us on the condition that we remind ourselves every fifteen minutes or so that they had not given it to us because they recommended it, but because they thought we, being sci-fi fans, might conceivably think it worth renting one day and they didn't want us to waste a perfectly good $3 on such an odorous pile of shite. Oh and they didn't want to waste even more time on it by returning it to the store themselves.

Face/Off and Final Analysis are also pretty high up there for me as far as Worst of the Worst, but Battlefield Earth still outcraps them both.

[darandkerry.livejournal.com]

I've seen some real stinkers in my time, but if I have to choose only one, I'll go with "Exit to Eden."

[sing1118.livejournal.com]

Surely you mean "worst".

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

As I posted this several days ago, surely you mean "you meant worst."

And I would never presume I had a right to correct someone else's post, especially when it's posted in their personal journal.

[sing1118.livejournal.com]

Oh, I always mean it in an insolent-grin kind of way!!! Promise. No presumptions here. :-D

[sammysam.livejournal.com]

spiderman 3. which i only saw because it was my best friend's birthday and she made me. kind of like she did the 2nd one.

also, hi! I noticed you added me today so I friended you back. I've seen you around a couple communities but I don't recall us chatting much so I was just curious why you friended me? not that I mind, I'm just curious :)

cheers!
Alli

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with being curious. I'm rather shy, you see;)

We have similar interests (A/O, Bad Girls!!!, and WICKED) so I clicked on your journal and when I saw you were at Annapolis, well, my brother was in the Navy, so I figured you must be pretty okay.

And signing up to write E/G for P&P's 5000....awesome!

[sammysam.livejournal.com]

:)

Ahh, yes, Liv/Alex and Helen/Nikki and Wicked are awesome. My three main obsessions of the last few years, actually. Got me through Annapolis, in fact.

As for the fic for P&P... I'm just hoping I get it written. I should be able to, my ship (when I meet up with her) is just coming off deployment so I'll be in Japan for the next 5 months, working normal days. Now, I just need an idea... seeing Wicked this weekend shoul help :)