Inherently Disordered. O RLY?

[cabenson]

I guess there was a meeting of the American Catholic Bishops and they came up with, and approved a gay-ministry guideline. According to this "guideline", queers are welcomed by the Catholic Church, told that having same-sex inclinations is NOT considered a sin, but ACTING on this inclination will send us to the fiery depths of hell. Homosexuality is deemed "inherently disordered" and if we have the HomoSex, we can't have the Communion. We also shouldn't be allowed to adopt children cause God only knows what we would DO with children. Oh and for all you Catholic straighties out there, if you are practicing birth control by an artificial means, you get no wafer either.

I would love to stand up in the middle of communion, wearing a shirt that reads, "I used to be a Queer Catholic, but I have been saved. Now I'm just a Queer!" and yell at the top of my lungs that the Catholic Church is filled with hypocrites, misogynistic assholes, political spinners and pedophilic monsters, all the while flinging condoms at all the married couples in attendance and spitting Holy Water through the gap in my front teeth which I don't have but I WOULD create for this occasion. Then I would go plant a big kiss on Sr. Mary Hot Nun, grab the holy wine and make a run for it out through the stained-glass window. Stick that kind of disorder in your chalice and suck on it, Bishop McCoverups!

Comments

[armature.livejournal.com]

I would love to stand up in the middle of communion...
This whole part is brilliant

"I used to be a Queer Catholic, but I have been saved. Now I'm just a Queer!"
Especially this part.

That and the gap in your front teeth part.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I know there is a special place in hell just for me :)

[returnofpiper.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, this new decision makes me want to run to my Catholic church this weekend, just to see what happens. I totally fell away from the Catholic church, and then someone here on LJ told me about her church. It's Catholic, but well, the priest keeps getting in trouble for doing commitment ceremonies for gay couples. The church has a bunch of gay couples, some with kids, and it's such an awesome place. I don't go as often as I should, but when I do go, it's just an incredibly welcoming place. I feel comfortable there. They take the parts of Catholicism I like (basic beliefs, Jesus, Mary, Apostles, etc) and ditches the bad parts (stupid rules that have nothing to do with the basic belief system). And I would just love to hear the take on this.

My bet is that it will be ignored, as are many of the pronouncements about homosexuality. But ignored for the good reasons. "This is dumb. We're not following that. The end."

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I mostly pissed because they consider gay people to be mentally disorderd. And they refuse to make a Saint Cabenson.

[captain-sam.livejournal.com]

you get no wafer either.

It sounds like the church is withholding treats from the congregation. I guess they've got to train them somehow. Stupid ol' church.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I haven't taken communion in probablt 15 years so it's no biggie. I just hate that they would continue, in this day and age, to be so discriminatory.

[sweetgingertea.livejournal.com]

I heard about that, it's so fucked up. Yes, in poor countries where people can't afford to feed their families, let's tell them it's a sin to use birth control. And let's just insult all the gay people we happen to know.

The Catholic Church was better off before it issued these "guidelines". Stupid. In the words of Peter of Family Guy-
"This is really Christ's blood? Man he must have been drunk 24/7!"

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

"This is really Christ's blood? Man he must have been drunk 24/7!"
Family Guy is Love, I'm telling ya!

[bast2.livejournal.com]

Goodness me, what a rant! =) (BTW--you might wanna talk to Paula Poundstone's 15 year old daughter about that gay adoption thing).

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I was a bit huffy, huh ;)

[eclecticfan.livejournal.com]

through the gap in my front teeth...

Hey! I got the gap! I'll join you!

As a severely lapsed Catholic - I simply LOVED your rant - you definitely said it all better than I could.

asshats

ya know - I hate to say it but Elton has the right idea, I think - all religion should be banned - spiritual is just fine...

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I agree with Elton too, but then what would people start wars over?

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Now now, don't be so cynical! This is a positive step! They're showing how much they love gay Catholics, isn't that nice?

::choke::

Yeah, I can't quite swallow that one either. Assholes. Maybe well-meaning, maybe genuinely feeling the love towards their poor homosex-addled brethren, but assholes nonetheless.

Oh and the gap between the front teeth? ROFL!

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should show them some love...CB style.

While I don't have a gap between my front teeth, I have still been known to spit water from a far distance. The holy water would probably burn right through to my brain though...

[bodhi-chenrezig.livejournal.com]

Dude - you rock. Also you fully need to have that t-shirt made.

And this position is similar to the ones the Morons Mormons believe in.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

I may just come up with a design for that shirt.

I think it's great to have a belief in some typr of higher entity, but go with the flow, ya know? No need to alieneate members of the church just because we dress sharply and have fabulously designed homes.

[stargazer1960.livejournal.com]

In the words of my esteemed 16-year-old students, "The Catholic Church is so gay!"

[eclecticfan.livejournal.com]

please tell me they realized the irony of that comment...

[replicarter22.livejournal.com]

*dies*

Are there some sort of a ranting awards we can nominate you for?

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Nah, just me shooting off my piehole again :)

[myrth1.livejournal.com]

Where do I buy the tickets?

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Next show is at the 11:00am mass this Sunday at Saint Ohmyfuckinggodtheydidn'tdothat Churchof the Stoneagetheocracy down on Diddler Road.

[noir-moll.livejournal.com]

According to this "guideline", queers are welcomed by the Catholic Church, told that having same-sex inclinations is NOT considered a sin, but ACTING on this inclination will send us to the fiery depths of hell.
Now, I've heard something like this before...when was it? Oh, yeah, now I remember. It's the same bullshit some of my Baptist relatives espoused when they found out I was gay, thinking they were being all progressive: "We know you were born that way, noir_moll, but if you act on those dirty, dirty perverted feelings, you're destined for a miserable life and eternity in hell." Ugh.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

But I heard you are a dirty pervert...

[theholyinnocent.livejournal.com]

According to this "guideline", queers are welcomed by the Catholic Church, told that having same-sex inclinations is NOT considered a sin, but ACTING on this inclination will send us to the fiery depths of hell.

Isn't this what they've been basically saying for hundreds of years now? Doesn't sound like anything new. Anyway, we'll all come and prop you up as you assault Teh Church. Maybe we can even steal some hats!

We don't need no stinkin' wafer! Honestly, what kind of lousy religion gives you wafers as an hors d'oeuvre? Why not some lovely cheese balls or tartlets? Even pretzels would be better. Really.

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Oh they have been saying it since Pope Paul I was caught banging his first alter boy. I'm more pissed at the fact that gays are considered "disordered". Why, I keep my house in a very orderly fashion.

Maybe we can even steal some hats!
Dibs on the purple ones!

Honestly, what kind of lousy religion gives you wafers as an hors d'oeuvre?
Cheese on a Triscuit would be nice.

There is wine though

[bluepoet.livejournal.com]

While you're at it, I think Catholicland could use some of your *imparted wisdom.*

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

Let's email this to all dem bitches!

[maroukian.livejournal.com]

...yell at the top of my lungs that the Catholic Church is filled with hypocrites, misogynistic assholes, political spinners and pedophilic monsters, all the while flinging condoms at all the married couples in attendance and spitting Holy Water through the gap in my front teeth which I don't have but I WOULD create for this occasion.

You ought to win "something" for the images you conjured up here. I think you should write that scene into your next fic. :)

[cabenson.livejournal.com]

After showing this to someone at work today, I think I may have to put it in our show.

[landofshadows82.livejournal.com]

This post is made of win and awesome and amazingness and a whole bunch of other things I'd have to make up new words to describe.

[i]I would love to stand up in the middle of communion...[/i]
You should do it. It would be the lol.